I did it again. I have found myself in the precarious position of jumping the gun. If you read my last column you may have noticed I was more positive than usual — that in itself is a rare occurrence. Positivity because of a boy, well let’s just say… I’m new to the subject.
I fall into the category of young women who are very rarely impressed. Something me and my friends have been talking about lately is what it means to *want* to get to know someone. In a town where dating can seem impossible, it’s easy to throw caution to the wind when you finally find a person that you could see yourself with.
When we match with someone on Tinder things typically go one of four ways. The first and most obvious one would be “hanging out” immediately. Then you may exchange messages on the app or even numbers. Some people take this opportunity to plan a date, others … Well, they may never talk at all. Most of the time those options are fine, but when you do finally find someone you want to brave the hookup culture storm, prepare yourself for the turmoil that may follow.
In the past month, my best friend Miranda has experienced this with a guy she thought was a winner (to be fair, we all did). They matched, went on dates and soon were in the eye of the talking storm. If it looks like a relationship and they are acting like you are in a relationship, it’s crazy to imagine how anyone could assume that you are (get this!) headed for a relationship. Unfortunately, this is where many of us get whiplash, because how men act and how they feel are two very different things.
We were all shocked when the guy Miranda was talking to *texted* her to let her know “he was not capable of being in a relationship right now.’” After months of promises, grand gestures and future planning, he just now figured out dating wasn’t for him? In moments like these, where we know we got ahead of ourselves but also know they did nothing to stop us, it’s hard to rationalize the next steps. I personally like the route of bitter and jaded. Miranda is better than me and is instead focusing on herself.
You see, nobody teaches you how to mourn the relationship that didn’t happen. August by Taylor Swift is a good start, but besides that, I’ve got nothing. Now that I find myself heading down the same road as my friend I have no choice but to wonder, when is it okay to let your guard down?
How do you avoid jumping the gun when you find someone you really like? Message me on Instagram @Valleymag and let me know!
Until next week!