My inner thirteen-year-old self still feels like finding someone cute is embarrassing. THERE, I said it. I think that crushes should be taken to the grave and that nothing is worse than admitting your feelings. Seriously, the phrase “I know who you like!” gives me nightmares to this day. Try to imagine my frustration when a boy in my class decided to be really cute, nice and completely out of my league. I was a goner from the get-go.
I’m the type of girl that likes to get to class early. This allows me to do two things, pick my seat and do my homework without distraction. Well, imagine my surprise when a very cute guy decided to sit right next to me in an empty classroom. To say I was distracted is the understatement of the century. But the most surprising part about this interaction wasn’t that he sat next to me, it’s that he started asking me about my morning.We talked back and forth for a bit. He asked me what my year and major was, and told me about himself. We talked for a full ten minutes before class started. It wasn’t until the end of the lecture that this very nice boy stood up and told me to have a great day. It was at this point that I realized that this very nice boy also happened to be a pretty big deal. A Blue Jacket.
By my next class, I had once again arrived early. In my head I had convinced myself that I was crazy and was fully prepared to be ignored by him. I was not. He sat next to me once again and we got to talking about the homework, our hometowns and his family.
One drink led to another, and my best friend convinced me that the most efficient way to get to know this blue jacket boy would be to add him on Instagram at 3 a.m. I need to make it known that I am not responsible for what happens on social media after a Friday night downtown. Rejection is one thing, but Instagram is forever. It’s been nothing but radio silence since that fateful night (it really is brutal out here).
At the end of class I stood up and began to walk out the door when I heard something hit the ground behind me. I had my phone, my keys and my headphones, so didn’t think anything of it. That was until I heard, “hey! You dropped something!” I turned around and this guy had come over from the other side of the room to hand me A Post-It. He placed it in my hand, smiled, and said “here you go”. I was in complete shock. I smiled back and immediately began questioning my mental state. Did I just hallucinate?
This interaction reaffirmed that I hadn’t imagined the first one. This would be good news, but it (unfortunately) also reaffirmed that I did indeed have a crush on a guy who left me on pending. I. don’t. know. what. this. means.
I was pondering what my life had come to when my roommates knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to go out. Peachy Palmers make everything better, so we got dressed and headed downtown. When we got to the bar, we immediately noticed a very cute bouncer. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones because we watched this man get hit on by three different women in the span of an hour. At one point, I turned to my friend to confirm she was seeing the same thing as me. (I may have hallucinated earlier in the day, so I had to double-check). Part of me had second-hand embarrassment. The other part was jealous of their initiative. I watched him walk over to talk to one of the girls multiple times throughout the night. She did that, and it was awesome.
I couldn’t help but wonder if my outlook on dating was holding me back. Out of all of the crushes I’ve had in my life, how many of them could have felt the same way, but neither of us ever did anything about it? This was clearly working for some women; who’s to say it wouldn’t work for me?
Would asking this boy to get coffee really be that embarrassing? I can’t imagine anything being worse than acting like a crazy person every time I see him in class. And so what if he rejects me, more to write about I guess!
Who do you think should make the first move? Have you? Tweet us, @VALLEYmag, and let us know what you think about making moves.