The Single Girls of State: Low Resolution

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Was your New Years resolution to go to the gym more? To go to all of your 9 a.m. classes? To eat better? To save more money? Whatever it was, I’m sure you had the best intentions of following through. Why else would any of us even bother to set these resolutions if we didn’t?

But now that we are entering the final days of January, our momentum is dying (if it’s not dead already). The once shiny thought of making 2022 a better, brighter year has now become a cloudy, gray one. Winter break is over, it is the dead of winter and reality is as brutal as ever. 

I entered this year with only one goal: to delete my dating apps. After years of gross openers and lackluster conversations, I’d finally had enough. The turning point for me was waking up after a late night of swiping to seven flagged messages. I decided then and there that deleting the unholy trinity (Tinder, Bumble and Hinge) from my phone would be the solution to all of my (dating) problems. You read that correctly. My solution to all the bad dates was to remove myself from dating, and no, I did not follow through. 

I was able to maintain my Tinder sobriety for three weeks. It was nice at first — not having to move my thumb so often. But after a while, I was forced to remember why I downloaded the app in the first place (queue Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”).  Dating apps are seemingly the only way to meet people at Penn State.

Unless you’re a stone-cold hottie, men aren’t going out of their way to approach you. There were a few times in the last few weeks where I thought, “This is it. He’s gonna do it.” The boy at my apartment who stopped the elevator with his hand to let me in and then proceeded to ask me about my day when the door shut, (thank you!) was a promising one. But also, why didn’t he go for it? Another question, and probably the most important one: why didn’t I?

When the question crossed my mind, I couldn’t shake the feeling this wasn’t going to get easier, how could it? When presented with an opportunity — a really good-looking, tall, seemingly interested man — I did nothing about it. I was having a slight existential crisis on my couch when my roommate came out and asked me if I wanted to grab dinner with her. Since I chickened out in the elevator earlier, I happened to be free. I grabbed my bag and we headed to My Thai. 

Apparently, we missed the memo that this is State College’s premiere date night spot. It turns out that every single person in that restaurant was on a date. Every. Single. One.

As the Tik Tok proverb goes, the women were too stunned to speak. We watched on as the couples around us held hands, kissed and cuddled. We stuffed our faces with determination and were out of there in half an hour.  When I got home, I immediately re-downloaded Tinder.  

I have come to the conclusion that being single in State College is like walking into a thrift store. If you see something you like you gotta go for it, and if/when that sweater doesn’t fit, you can donate it and start the search for a new one.  Dating in my twenties is proving to be a trial and error shopping situation, but you never know when you’re going to strike gold.

Am I going to find said gold on Tinder? Who knows? All I do know is that New Years resolutions aren’t my thing, and the next time I do go on a date it will probably be at My Thai.

My question for you, dear reader, is why do you have Tinder, and more importantly, why don’t you? Tweet us, @VALLEYmag, and let us know!



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