Importance of Independence in Relationships

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So, you’re boo’d up and annoying your friends with how in love and happy you are. That’s wonderful and we’re so happy for you (feeling lowkey bad for your friends though)! But when you find yourself in love, you become enthralled in that person, which is okay…to an extent. 

Like everything in life, time with your partner is best and most fun in moderation. Spending too much time together isn’t healthy and can lead to codependence. Having your own life and friends outside your relationship can actually make your relationship healthier and improve the quality of time together. 

In this article, VALLEY will give you the “shoulds” and “should nots” of independence in relationships.

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Should not: Have your SO be the only person you spend time with
Should: Spend time with friends and family as well

If you find yourself feeling really bored or lonely when your partner can’t hang out because they’re your only friend, that is a red flag. We’re not saying you need a ton of people to hang out with, just a few good ones. Make time for friends and family in your schedule as well as your partner. Maybe you see your partner four times a week and on other days see family or friends. That way it is more evenly distributed. At first, it can be weird and hard to not see your partner as much. However, the time spent apart starts to make the time together so much more meaningful and special. You start to treasure every time you see them even more. Plus, it’s healthier to be able to see your friends and family and hang out with them as well. 

Photo from Livewire.com
Should not: Have doing things with your SO be your only activities
Should: Be able and excited to do hobbies or activities you enjoy alone or with friends

Having a life outside your relationship is crucial to a long-lasting and healthy partnership. Make sure that you have things you can do alone or only with friends. You can go to the gym, join a new club or start up a new hobby like painting. Having activities that are separate from the ones you do together is extremely important. It is essential to have a sense of your own life while knowing you can depend on each other.  

While there are many more dos and don’ts, these two are the most crucial: successful relationships allow for both partners to form a bond that helps them grow together, but also grow independently as people. This means supporting each other’s goals and ambitions even outside the relationship. So, go hang out with your bae— but don’t forget about your individuality too. 

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