The great thing about being single of Valentine’s Day is that all the money you would be spending on flowers, presents, lingerie, dinner for two, candles and other romantic Hallmark crap will now be spent on enough chocolate and unhealthy food to fill any void you have in your heart.
Chocolate is big on Valentine’s Day. But the single crowd is above this man-made holiday created to make people feel lonely and unapproachable, and that means they are above basic chocolate covered treats. This year, do it big. Spring break is not next month, calories do not exist and no one will be seeing you naked any time soon. Here are ten chocolate covered recipes that are 100 percent better than any relationship.
1. “Rice Crispy Marshmallow Monster”
This is the ultimate rice crispy. Take one rice crispy and cover one side in gooey-melted marshmallow. Then take another rice crispy and put it on top to make a your marshmallow monster sandwich. Then dip that whole bad boy in your chocolate of choice.
2. “Seductive Strawberry Skewers”
What’s truly sexy about strawberries is that you can dress them up for any occasion. Take a skewer and slide on a strawberry, marshmallow, mini brownie and then another strawberry and roll it around in your dark chocolate fondue. Yes, better than a boyfriend.
3. “OH, Oreo You drive me NUTS”
Get out your favorite brand of Oreos and your favorite type of nut butter. It can be peanut butter, almond butter or even Nutella but just make sure that the flavors go well with the type of Oreo’s you picked out. Grab two Oreo’s and cover one side of them with your nut butter and stick them together for an Oreo’s sandwich that will keep you coming back for more. Then of course, drizzle or cover the entire thing in chocolate. If you have the will power to wait, leave these in the freezer over night. You won’t regret it.
4. “Cupid’s Cupcakes”
This cupcake is so beautifully delicious that just the sight of it will mend a broken heart. Buy your favorite cupcake mix and frosting and bake your first batch. Let the cupcakes cool and put on your frosting. Wait until the frosting is stiff enough and then flip it upside down and dip it into your chocolate. Let the cupcakes cool again until the chocolate is hard. Enjoy.
5. “Poppin’ Popcorn Party in my Mouth”
Pop up your popcorn, either extra butter, kettle corn or extra butter on top of kettle corn, what ever you prefer, and spread it out on a pan. Microwave Hershey’s milk chocolate until it is smooth and drizzle it over your popcorn. Then microwave Reese’s candies until smooth and drizzle it over your popcorn. Feel free to add sugar or caramel to your mix. Refrigerate for about 10 minutes and get that party poppin’.
6. “10 Things I Love About Pretzels”
Take 10 pretzel rods and get ready to fall in love. Dip three in milk chocolate, three in dark chocolate, three in white chocolate and drizzle the last one in all three of the flavors. Raid the grocery store of all of your favorite toppings and make each pretzel unique. Roll them in peanuts, sprinkles, crushed up Reese’s, crushed up M +M’s, caramel, toffee etc. Eating all 10 of the different pretzels is almost like going on 10 different dates. Allow your taste buds to be promiscuous for a night.
7. “Your Bac’ing Me Crazy”
Get about 12 pieces of bacon and thread them onto wooden skewers. Put them in a baking pan and bake for about 25 minutes at 400 degrees until your kitchen smells like heaven. Coat the bacon in your choice of melted chocolate and add toppings to your taste. Why? Because bacon stripes, and bacon stripes and bacon stripes.
8. “At least Ice Cream has the Balls to Hang Out with Me”
Freeze a cookie sheet over night and make a trip to the creamery to buy your favorite container of ice cream. Scoop out balls of ice cream and place them on the cookie sheet. Once you have your amount of balls place them in the freezer again to make sure they stay firm. Then use your dipping tool or spoon to dip your ice cream balls into your melted chocolate of choice. Roll them into your choice of toppings like sprinkles, crushed Oreo’s, M +Ms, nuts, peppermint, cookie bits etc. Freeze them until you are ready to let your diet crash and burn.
9. “Donut Mess With my Chocolate”
Grab a box of glazed Dunkin Donuts and your favorite type of ice cream. Make yourself a two -donut ice cream sandwich and freeze it for a little bit. When you are ready take out your sandwich and dip it in melted chocolate. You can let it freeze or you can keep re-dipping after every bite because you know America actually doesn’t run on Dunkin. America sits on the couch and groans in pain because of Dunkin.
10. “There Will Be No Stripping of Layers at this Chocolate Party”
Start with your favorite bag of Lindt Chocolate LINDOR truffles or get an assorted bag so you can try all the different combinations. Melt two or three different types of chocolates. Start by dipping one of the truffles in one chocolate and letting it cool until stiff and then complete the process with all the other dipping chocolates until they are all layered on top of each other. Why yes, this is chocolate covered in chocolate covered in chocolate covered in chocolate.
At least your taste buds will get some action this year. Happy Valentine’s Day!