What Introverts Think at Parties

Photo posted by @gilmoregirls on Instagram

You ever just go somewhere and stand around? Parties can be overwhelming and anxiety-inducing, but sometimes the best way to get through is to make light of the situation. Whether you go often, or not at all, VALLEY has complied a list of what introverts think at parties.

“At least I’m with an extrovert”

Gosh, I’m so smart. Thank goodness I brought Maya along to help create conversation and find groups of people for me. This way, when people ask me questions that leave my mind physically empty, I’ll just turn to Maya and have her answer all my questions. This is perfect.

“Who am I texting?”

I think I may be fooling others by seeming totally inconspicuous and preoccupied with something important. They all probably think I’m texting about something serious. But little do they know, I’ve downloaded this new book on Apple Books and I’m reading at least 2 new chapters by the end of the night.

Photo posted by @gilmoregirls on Instagram
“I’m stealing their dog”

I’m finding the house pet. Stealing the house pet for the night. This animal will not leave my side.

“I’m just totally losing myself in the music”

Just awkwardly bobbing my head and slightly swaying to show I’m into this. Totally.

“Im going to the bathroom, BRB”

I’ve well-earned my 15-minute break. I can read about 10 pages in that time, or text my other friends SOS… then proceed to say “just kidding,” because I just wanted their attention. I can check my appearance and reapply anything. I can have a staring contest with myself in the mirror for a minute straight. I can crawl out the window above the toilet and exit like a spy. If that doesn’t occupy 15 minutes, I’ll download a game on my phone. The possibilities are endless.

“Dude, lets go home.”

When is an appropriate time to leave? Should I stay for around 2 hours? I don’t want to seem impolite.

Photo posted by @gilmoregirls on Instagram
“Actually, this isn’t that bad”

Maybe we can stay a little longer. Truthfully, on some level I do need these experiences, even if in the moment I’d rather be in bed. It’s like a rite of passage — it’s just something I must do to become well-versed. Besides, I think I’m starting to get acclimated to this situation.

“What is happening?”

What are the vibes? I am in a constant state of confusion. Do I… like being here? No, I just need to go home and never ever go out again.

“Same time next week?”

Oh. Sure.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.