Everybody makes fun of MTV and VH1 “music” channels for doing everything that isn’t related to music, but we need to remember that they gave us the greatest gift of all – trashy reality dating shows. You can find trashy TV anywhere nowadays, but it isn’t the same as watching a marathon of trailer-park girls screaming at each other or some weird nerdy kid on MTV dating someone’s mom. That being said, here’s the best dating shows from each channel:
The show would start with either a guy or a gal and a bus full of members of the opposite (or sometimes same) sex. The beauty of Next was that whenever the dater got bored with the date – or they did something they didn’t like – they could yell “Next!” and the next person would come off of the bus.
The highlights: The weird pose people would be in during the freeze-frame walking off the bus, and occasionally the dater would take one look at them and yell “Next!”
Date My Mom
It’s safe to say that we were all happy our moms weren’t representing us on weird dates, which ranged from getting ice cream to getting tattoos. At the end of the episode, the dater would pick which girl he wanted based on the mom. For whatever reason, this show only came on in the middle of the night.
The highlights: The finale of the show was always on the beach at sunset and the dater’s clearly disappointed face when he picked the “ugly” girl and passed up on the good-looking ones.
Runner-ups: Room Raiders, Parental Control.
Flavor of Love
This was the start of the weird nicknames on reality TV. New York, Buckwild and Pumpkin – literally nobody on this show was allowed to go by their real first name. These girls were vicious and back-stabbing and we loved it. If you ever want to see the absolute best moment in reality TV history, look up when Pumpkin literally spat in New York’s mouth after elimination.
The highlights: After elimination, the names would change to their real name, and the spin-offs: Charm School and I Love New York.
Rock of Love with Bret Michaels
What’s the next step for one of the biggest rock stars from the 80’s? A trashy dating show on VH1 that aired for three seasons. For the most part these girls didn’t have nicknames, but they were all stupid. Like, how-did-they-pass-high school kind of stupid. Unfortunately, Bret never found his rock of love.
The highlights: Bret got turned on by everything, and almost every girl on the show was a stripper (which turned Bret on).
Runner-ups: For the Love of Ray-J, Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch
Photo credit: dentrotele.com, tressugar.com, vh1.com, tvtropes.org