A core component of mindfulness is listening — listening to ourselves.
Yet, when we listen to the voices in our heads, the negative has the potential to sometimes outweigh the positive — which is perfectly normal. However, the important part to remember is having a conversation with the critic and carer that lingers in our mind.
When we take the time to listen to our own thoughts, it opens up our minds, creating space for transformation. If we lean too heavily into listening to our inner critic, then a transformation can perhaps to harder to reach. It is necessary to listen and process what we hear from our inner critic while appreciating what we can gain and learn from our inner carer.
If you have ever wondered how to treat both the negative and positive thoughts in your head, you’re in luck. VALLEY has put together advice on how to have productive conversations with your inner critic and carer to help guide you on a path toward mindfulness.
The Inner Critic
Have you ever found yourself thinking: This feeling will never end, I am to blame for this happening or this will ruin everything? If so, say hello to your inner critic. This is the voice in your head that is powered by negativity. It is the voice that always thinks of the worst, placing you deep in despair, regret and dread. If you get a bad grade on a test, your inner critic might say: I will never pass another exam again or It’s all my fault.
So, how do you care for this voice? The first thing to remember is that it is okay to be hearing these types of thoughts and that you are not alone in feeling them.
In order to learn anything from your inner critic, you have to become aware of it and identify it. It is key to remember that feelings like this show that you care about whatever situation you are going through. When we care so deeply about something and it goes array, the inner critic likes to be part of the conversation.
One technique for putting this voice in its place is naming it. If you name this voice, it gives you the power to understand that all of the thoughts and feelings you have will pass and that this voice is not you. You are fully capable to be in control of your thoughts and if we let the negative ones win, then the room for mindfulness and compassion lessens. When we separate ourselves from our inner critic, it shows us that these thoughts are not from ourselves — they are from outside forces and the pressures placed upon us by society.
It is also extremely important to remember to not respond to your inner critic voice — instead welcome your inner carer.
The Inner Carer
While your inner critic relies on dragging you down with permanent and lasting ideas, your inner carer treats your thoughts with kindness and compassion — letting us understand that our thoughts will in fact pass.
If we take the example above about inner critic thoughts such as: This feeling will never end. I am to blame for this happening. This will ruin everything, we can flip those on their heads, replacing them with inner carer thoughts. Which may look like: I may feel like this now, but it is temporary. Other forces along with myself, have to be thought of in this situation. There are still many other good things to focus on in my life.
With the inner critic taking up much of the space in our minds, it can be tough to get in touch with the inner carer, or even further, listen to it. It is possible, though. One way to listen to this voice is to not name it like you can with your inner critic, but instead, call it yourself. The inner carer voice is you.
Take the inner critic voices and combat them with compassion. Root for yourself. When you open your mind up to accepting warmth, it will soon surround you. If you solely focus on the negative, the room for kindness is slim.
As we live each day, we are forced to listen to the thoughts of our minds. It’s up to us to remember to act on the caring voices while reflecting on the critical ones. Once we realize we are in control of our own thoughts, mindfulness is bound to blossom.
How do you talk to your inner critic and care voice? Let VALLEY know by tagging @VALLEYMag on Twitter.
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