Breakups suck. There’s really no other way to put it. You go from talking and seeing someone everyday to cutting them out of your life and pretending they don’t exist. By the time you are trying to do this, you have become so integrated and tangled in each other’s lives that it’s difficult to undo the knot.
But what do you do when you have the same friends? You already had to cut one person out of your life, and there is no point in cutting out friends. Sharing the same friends may be tough, but it’s important to maintain those relationship you value. Valley has some advice on how to keep your friends after the breakup.
Don’t make them choose sides
It is not fair to make anyone outside of the relationship choose sides. You and your ex-significant other share a group of friends who are not involved in the break up. Don’t make your friends choose which team they are on because it’s not fair to them.
Don’t trash talk your ex in front of your shared friends
As hard as it may be, you need to lay off the trash talk in front of your mutual friends. In the end, it will only make you look bad and make your friends feel uncomfortable.
Don’t get them involved
Whatever you do, don’t drag your friends into the mess your breakup has created. Your friends have no business being in your problems, especially when they don’t want to take sides. This doesn’t mean you can’t talk about your feelings, but it’s important not to make them feel like they are in the middle of the mess.
Understand that they need to split their time
Just because you broke up with your ex doesn’t mean your mutual friends will stop hanging out with them. Be respectful of plans they have made to hangout. Don’t get offended. They make time to hang out with you, too. It is just something that is going to happen and that you will have to accept.
Talk to them!
Your friends are still your friends. You can still let them know that you are upset, frustrated, and angry. After all, you need someone to talk to when going through a breakup.
It’s not going to easy, but Valley is here to remind you that everything happens for a reason and it does get better. Keep your friends close and know that just because you share friends with your ex, you don’t have to remove those friends from your life. Surround yourself with people who love you and it will be okay!