Best Friend Breakups

Everyone talks about the heartbreak you face when you lose a significant other, but something you hear about less often is the emotional trauma you face when you lose your best friend. When that person happens to double as your roommate, it is ten times worse — trust me, I know.

There are a few ways a best friend breakup can occur, but whether the loss happens within a few seconds, a few months or even a few years. I reeled the scenes of my friendship in my head thousands of times over. I asked myself questions like: “Was it something I did?” “When exactly did the distance become too much?” “Where did I go wrong?”

The worst, though, is when your best friend hurts you like you never thought they would. For me, it happened in a few seconds with a few choice words designed to hurt me, but there are usually hints of problems for a few months. The texts and phone calls decrease and the conversations that do happen become more of small talk than the gossip and companionship you’re typically used to. What is happening is not always apparent and that can make it even more difficult.

Whatever the time span is, the hurt is still there. It hurts more than words can say because this is the person who you talked to 24/7. The person who walked into your house like it was their own. The person who knew everything about you and vice versa. You thought this person was going to be making an emotional speech at your wedding — at least I did.

I was lucky to get an apology, but some people are not. And even with an apology, hurtful words can’t be taken back. I wish they could be, but unfortunately, time is usually the only thing that helps with that kind of hurt.

The most crucial, but also the hardest thing to do with a best friend breakup is to move on. This doesn’t always mean losing your best friend or forgetting what they did entirely, but forgiving them for yourself. Your friendship will change into something else — maybe better or maybe worse — but holding onto anger or sadness for too long will scar anyone.

Although I used to hate when people said this to me, above all, you have to remember that people walk into your life for a reason. They walk out for a reason, too. Friendships move in cycles so when somebody does walk out it is the perfect opportunity for someone else to walk in, even if it’s not who you were expecting. 

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