Nothing sounds more appealing than being brought flowers, having the door held open for you and sitting down for a nice dinner with somebody. Everyone hopes and dreams to have someone take them out on a date.
Maybe you don’t have anyone to take you out. Maybe you’re single or you have already struggled with numerous bad dates. Maybe your schedule is too busy to find the time.
The trickiest concept to navigate might be the biggest solution to all of these problems: taking yourself out on a date.
Party of Two
A big misconception many have regarding “dates” is that you must be taken out on one by a partner (or take out someone yourself). Going on dates has always been perceived as a two-party activity.
Dates are convenient. You get an entire two-hour slot to talk about yourself with someone. Dates allow someone else to fight tooth and nail for your admiration, to invest all of their energy into appreciating you. It gives you an ego-boost. Chances are, it even gives you a free meal.
However, going on dates with another person can often be draining. Sitting down with someone, who may or may not be a complete stranger, lets your insecure thoughts linger for too long. “Should I order this meal because they did? How long are we going to be here for? Will he get the bill or ditch me? How much longer are they gonna talk about this boring topic?”
Flipping the Narrative
Imagine this scenario: you are sitting at your favorite restaurant. Alone. It sounds scary but just go with it. Wearing a nice outfit, you order your favorite meal and read a book while you wait. You finish your meal, give a good tip and leave whenever you would like to leave.
Switching the mindset from whatever the other party wants to whatever you want is freeing. Taking yourself out allows you to make your own decisions rather than wait on someone else’s feedback. You can choose the restaurant. You can choose what to order. You can choose anything your heart desires!
This self-dating concept doesn’t exclusively apply to dinners. That pottery place you’ve been begging your boyfriend to take you to? Go alone. Need something new to read? Put on your headphones and explore the bookstore. Taking yourself out extends to any place, any day, any time–as long as it is what you want to do.
The Self-Love Aspect
Social anxiety is a real, common thing. Classes, work and the gym might be the only three destinations you venture to by yourself, which is okay. Thinking about going somewhere alone is disarming to most. But when you really think about it, it can be more empowering than it is scary.
Not only does going on dates alone give you absolute freedom, but it also plays into loving yourself. The phrase “You can’t love someone else unless you love yourself” is undoubtedly, 100% true. How can someone else take you to dinner if you can’t do it yourself?
It’s time to face the music: you are awesome, through and through. You deserve the chance to go wherever you please, do whatever you want and invest your energy into appreciating you.
Tweet us at @VALLEYmag with your go-to date spot on X!
