State College: Alien Invasion

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension — a dimension of football, a dimension of THON orgs, a dimension of Greek life. You’re moving into a land of both construction and Ubers, of undesirable weather. You’ve just crossed over into Penn State during Halloween.

For this episode, we asked students and faculty an important question, wondering how they would face an American fear: you inherit 3 million dollars the same day aliens invade earth. What do you do?

“I would give it to them to them and tell them to leave,” says Abbey Lobello, a junior majoring in marketing.

“I would probably buy a bunker and prepare for doomsday,” says Cooper Pandorf, a sophomore majoring in cyber security.

“Buy the aliens whatever they want and pay off NASA for a space suit so they can take me back to their planet,” says Laura Forsyth, a junior majoring in telecommunications.

“Buy a submarine, probably nuclear, and live in the ocean,” says Rob Donohue, a sophomore majoring in MIS.

“Assuming they are here to kill everyone, I would spend that money on a nice vacation before I die,” says Chase Canner, a junior majoring in telecommunications.

“Use the money to bribe my way into the spaceship,” says Caroline Fish, a junior majoring in public relations.

“I would bribe aliens with beer and then we’d live happily ever after,” says COMM 260W professor James Carlson.

“They’re probably going to take over the planet, so I guess travel a lot while I can. Go to Hawaii and relax on the beach with my family and friends until they make the aliens take over the islands,” says Austin Smith, a junior majoring in broadcast journalism.

“I would just chill and buy a really nice house far away where aliens can’t find me, but my backup plan would be to buy a shelter. If we end up going to war with the aliens, I would probably invest a little as well. War with the aliens would make a good profit.” John Berardino, a sophomore who is undeclared.

“Go to mars,” says Jenna Krawchick, a sophomore who is undecided.

“Fly immediately to Dubai to skydive, then the same day fly to Greece to live out my Mamma Mia fantasies,” says Jayliana Bedoya, a sophomore majoring in biology.

“Pay them off, no question,” says Alex Karen, a junior majoring in LER.

“Buy a ticket to Aruba, stay in a villa, and live my best life for a day,” says Emily Ellis, a sophomore majoring in finance.

“I’d spend all the money on a yacht and sail out into the middle of the ocean because the aliens probably wouldn’t think to look for people there, and they probably can’t swim,” says Sean Murphy, a senior majoring in history.

What would you do when faced with this situation? Tweet us @VALLEYmag!


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