There is this frequently used phrase that encapsulates what many view as the ideal way to live out your college years and that is the “college experience.” This term most often refers to partying, hookups and living a fun-filled life on your own. The common perception of what college should entail might seem like paradise to some students, however, for others, the thought of it may leave a small lump in their throat.
The “College Experience”
Starting a new life and moving to college can be extremely difficult to figure out on its own and when you add a long-distance relationship to the mix, it may seem like too much to handle. Often, people have a negative view of long-distance relationships in college. When you tell them you and your partner are going to stay together, they may give you a weird look or make a comment of disapproval. Over time, these perspectives can take a toll on your mindset and make you question if you are making the right decision or if the odds of making it are against you.
For those of you who may be worried and are having a hard time navigating your long-distance relationship or for those who are just missing your other half, there are ways to ease this transition and help establish a strong and healthy long-distance relationship.
It Can Work
College is a time of discovery and finding yourself, so showing constant support and interest in who your partner is becoming is crucial. Supporting your partner in their goals and ambitions lets them know you are there for them and, in turn, makes them excited to share new things going on in their life with you. One might approach this as thinking their partner is building a life of their own and forgetting about them, however, you can turn this into the exact opposite. If you can find the beauty in growing as your own self, then coming together to be a stronger, better unit while long-distance will transform into something you no longer constantly dread. If you can discover things about yourself that you love and enjoy, projecting that love onto someone else becomes so much easier.
We are sure you have heard it time and time again, but communication is truly another key to success. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other is the only real way of knowing how the other person is feeling. A text sent from one person can be interpreted in a completely different way by someone else. This will then lead to unnecessary conflict, so if you take anything from this piece it is to call your partner and tell them your thoughts! As much as we might think the other person can read our minds, they cannot, especially if they are nowhere close to us. Hinting at something or simply acting mad without telling your partner what is wrong will only make things worse, so save your relationship the stress and anger and get right to the point of things.
Another suggestion for mastering long-distance can be somewhat of a hot take and that is encouraging your partner to go out. For those who enjoy it, going out on the weekends is a big part of making college fun. Due to this, many long-distance relationships take a hit when it comes to this topic. The secret is, it does not have to be a dreadful topic and it all boils down to trust. If you can trust your partner to have fun without hurting you, going out might no longer be an issue. The more you or your partner restrict each other from going out and doing things the other person wants to do, the more you start to resent each other for holding one another back. If you can slowly learn to trust your partner by going out without you, both your weekends will see a major improvement.
The last few tippets of keeping your long-distance relationship strong are certainly not as hard. One thing that can be extremely helpful is planning the next date you will be together while you are currently with each other. This then gives you both hope when you leave and something to look forward to on your days apart.
P.S.
Remember why you are doing long-distance in the first place. Keep showing your love for each other … you are in love after all. Send love letters, flowers, sweet texts for them to wake up to. Being apart can be lonely and can sometimes leave someone questioning if their partner still cares for them. Remind your partner that you are still theirs! Any small act of love can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship and valuing each other’s happiness.
Doing long-distance is never easy and there will be bumps and hardships along the road. Establishing healthy habits and ways to support each other that work for your relationship are crucial. If you can find happiness in your time apart, then you are one step closer to success and one day closer to being together again.
What advice do you have for someone in a long-distance relationship in college? Tag us @VALLEYmag on Instagram or Twitter!
