The Ashton Hall Effect - VALLEY Magazine

The most hardworking person you know is waking up at 5 a.m. to work out before their 12-hour shift at the hospital. They gruel all day and night in order to pay the bills and later come home to cook dinner for their family of five. Except, you misunderstand. The most hardworking person out there is actually influencer Ashton Hall, whose morning routine has captivated every soul online. It may seem a little extreme, but don’t trust us, trust Ashton who seems to have his life down to a T. We’ll break this routine down for you, but don’t be too alarmed: everything that Ashton does is totally doable, right?

A Headstart to the Day

He starts his day at the totally normal 3:45 a.m., because why not? He always has blackface tape on his mouth to control his snoring, which we can’t deny is a genius move. He then cracks open a bottle of Saratoga water, which, for reasons unknown to us, is definitely worth the $8. Now, if you’re starting to get wary of this routine, don’t worry it’s going to start making less sense as the day progresses.

Now don’t forget, in order for you to achieve the perfect lifestyle, you must also own a penthouse that has a balcony overlooking the city that you choose. Ashton goes out to admire the view, right before “accidentally” breaking his Saratoga water bottle. Now you might notice that there’s a common theme in all of the videos: but that’s not what we would call scripting! That’s just dedication from Ashton in putting himself in such uncomfortable spaces just for our entertainment!

Routinely Normal

He then pulls out a journal to do some doodles in, which if you ask us, seems to be a replica of us in our Gen Eds. VALLEY wants to ask him how good his eye sketches are. Then, of course, you can’t forget about the face dunk in an ice bowl with, you guessed it, Saratoga water. Skipping forward all of the unnecessary steps like the individual time stamps for zipping up his bag and entering the elevator, he then goes to work out in what seems like a parking lot (as if he doesn’t have a gym in his luxury apartment.)

But the pinnacle of his routine seems to be when he jumps in the air at 7:36 a.m. and lands at the next time stamp at 7:40 a.m.! If you’re not having at least four minutes of airtime, you’re seriously missing out on an incredibly integral part of your day.

Cut the Cameras

Now we know that influencers and celebrities seem to have their life all figured out with all of their camera angles and teams that make them look flawless as soon as they get up, but VALLEY is here to debunk that for you. While some make their day-in-my-life as comical as Ashton’s, others seem to have a deceptive look to their routines, which can make it seem like your life is not as ideal as it should be.

And of course, it isn’t: you’re living in reality! Once we stop giving influencers so much power to dictate how our lives should look, we’ll see ourselves find more happiness in our everyday lives (which is more than enough.) However, if someone wants to Venmo us $8 for us to try that Saratoga water, we won’t decline!

What are your thoughts on the influencer lifestyle? Let @VALLEYmag know on Instagram!