College Crisis: The Truth About Sleeping With a New Boyfriend for the First Time

Our college years are full of dramatic “I’m not a grown up!” moments- mostly unexpected, and typically unwanted. Anonymous Valley writers discuss it all: from avoiding basic responsibilities to dealing with the big, bad future. Let’s talk about it.

Korch_CheatingThere are many perks to being in the early stages of a new relationship. First off, you’re both in the “honeymoon stage,” that period of time when the infatuation with one another is at an all-time high. You haven’t been together long enough to discover the other person’s irritating habits or undesirable personality traits, so things are easy. I’ve never been one to gush about romance or affection, but I recently entered into a new relationship and have found these things to be true. My boyfriend and I have been together only a few months but we really don’t get angry or annoyed at each other. Like I said, it’s easy.

However there is something that most people in a new and developing relationship won’t tell you, but I will.

My boyfriend and I waited until very recently to have sex. If you asked most new couples, they would probably describe their first time together as the perfect night or something else overly romantic. But, I’m not going to say that… because that was not the case.

Now, before you assume the worst, let me explain. No, the first time I slept with my boyfriend was not this dramatized evening of perfectly executed, insatiable passion. Truthfully, it was a little bit awkward.

It wasn’t that immature, middle-school type of awkward. It was just that for the first time in our budding relationship, we were going to be completely vulnerable in front of one another. Deciding to sleep with someone, regardless of your level of experience or views on the matter, is still an intimate act. My boyfriend and I like each other a lot, so I think it was entirely normal that things were slightly awkward and even a bit funny when I think about it.

I think what most new couples won’t tell you is that awkwardness and vulnerability may not be what you want to tell your friends about your first time together, but that it’s okay if that is the way it happens. We’re in college now and allegedly “grown up,” but I think when it comes to this stuff, it is okay to still get that nervous, excited feeling when you’re sharing such a personal experience with a new significant other.

Maybe all of this is just me, but I just think someone should put it out there that sleeping with a new boyfriend for the first time doesn’t necessarily need to be this idealized event. You like each other and you’re one-hundred percent exposed to one another (in more ways than one) for the first time.

It’s supposed to be a little awkward.

Photo by Jessi Korch

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