Young guys, namely college guys, are branded with this stereotype that they are only out for one-night conquests. Society tells us that no guy could possibly be searching for something more. They are happy being bachelors, and run away from committed relationships like they’re Ebola.
All that generalization is a little unfair to males, don’t we think?
We wanted to give boys the chance to prove their label wrong. We wanted to hear from the guys who dream of someday having a wife, kids, a dog and a picket white fence. So, we hit the streets to find out what boys actually have to say about their “players” nametag and what they want for their futures.
Sophomore mechanical engineering major Evan Lynch understands the rationale behind the typecasting he and his fellow men face, but feels he is different.
“I’m not really offended by [the stereotype], I just don’t think everybody fits that. I’ve seen plenty of examples of it, like, that typical frat-party-boy kind of guy. I know a bunch of people who are like that. Personally, I don’t think I’m like that,” says Lynch. “In the future I want to be a father and husband, and I think settling down and starting a family is really one of my main goals.”
Lynch is not alone. Ben Schneider, a sophomore computer science major, also sees himself settling down. The typical “hookup culture” doesn’t really appeal to him.
“Personally for me, I wouldn’t be a stereotypical guy. I don’t just go in, try to meet some girl and have a random hookup or whatever. I like getting to know people more first before I do anything intimate,” says Schneider.
The stereotype that boys are players also puts the blame solely on the boys. That is not always the case, Schneider explains.
“Sometimes I feel like there are guys who will take advantage of girls, but I also feel like, I’m just going to be frank, girls can also take advantage of guys. It can go both ways…Girls have taken advantage of guys so much and I’ve had to deal with that. It’s not fun being led on and being taken advantage of.”
Some girls certainly have reason to be cautious around boys, given past experiences and failed relationships. But, lumping all boys into the “player” category is doing some guys a great disservice.
“I don’t think women should generalize,” says freshman DUS major P.J. Dunn. “I would say if I met the right girl I would look to settle down.”
So, of course, we’re going to dance around as Ms. Swift sings, “players gonna play, play, play, play, play”. But, maybe instead of applying her words to every guy we see, let’s give them a chance and get to know them before making a decision on their character. Who knows what it could lead to?
Photo by Natalie Runnerstrom