One doesn’t realize that they are a bully until they lose something valuable. When it comes to bullying, that lost valuable thing is usually a friendship or a significant relationship.
Have you ever lost a best friend? Not the friend that you meet in a bathroom on a Friday night after fifteen minutes of exchanging numerous compliments, but the one person who you have known for years and can count on. The friend who is basically a sibling. With them, there are not too many judgments and 10-minute catch-ups are more like hours of life lessons. Losing a friend like this is devastating.
The story of the victim’s side of bullying is a common one but this time, Valley is telling the other side of the story.
“I had a bully all through elementary school. She made fun of my physical appearance because I was an overweight child,” says Victoria Entz, a senior majoring in Rehabilitation and Human Services.
It takes time and patience to get to the point of understanding why someone acts the way that they act. There could be numerous of reasons why a person may feel the need to bully another person without the other person really doing anything to cause it (Valley is not excusing one’s actions towards someone that can cause hurt and trauma). However, getting to the root of the problem is key to a healthy reconcile.
Recently, the social justice movement of feminism has been a popular topic amongst our generation. Aside from one’s personal preference on whether or not to call themselves feminists, the empowerment of other females, regardless of their differences, can be something to appreciate. It is the bonding that two females can have when they realize that beneath all the drama, there is a basic understanding and who knows, maybe friendship.
“I understood that my bully was dealing with some strong internal problems, so strong that she made fun of my exterior. I knew the place her hateful comments were coming from didn’t determine the value of her heart and that’s why we are still best friends to this day,” says Entz.
It is going to take some time getting to the point where Entz and her now best friend are, and that is OK. The important part about forming a relationship with a past bully or with someone who you bullied is that it is truly genuine. It takes time to get to a point where the two of you can laugh and “smh” about the failed mistakes. This won’t be the case for everyone because some people just are not meant to be friends, but that doesn’t mean that you both cannot be mature about it. Being a bully to becoming a friend takes a lot of work, but a great start is to take a step back and realize that “the mean girl” act is just that an act.