What makes us feel loved? What is it that we pay attention to, that makes us believe “Yup, this person cares about me?” What makes us feel valued and adored by those important people in our lives? Most times it isn’t grand gestures or huge declarations of undying love as we see in movies, but instead small and seemingly mundane details in our interactions with each other. But why is it that we focus on and value the small things and details so much? What makes them so important to us?
Consistency
Consistency makes us feel loved. Consistency is why we love getting those “good morning” texts daily and why we are riddled with anxiety about something having changed when we suddenly don’t. We like knowing that the people who take up space in our minds think about us as often as we think about them.
Coming home to the same person every day, cooking dinner together, watching a show together. Choosing to do the small and mundane things with the same person consistently is love. Consistency makes us feel chosen and valued, which is why we pay so much attention to these small details of our everyday interactions with each other.
“Saw This And Thought Of You”
To be loved is to be known. This is why the people we care about sending us a song or a TikTok with that “saw this and thought of you” message means so much. Being known well enough by another person that they knew what you would find funny or interesting, or even just caring about you enough that they want to share parts of themselves and their interests with you as well.
As human beings what we crave most is being truly known. Being known by another person is an umbrella term for being cared for and loved by another person with intent. This is all that most of us are searching for in our relationships with others.
Subtle Intimacy
There is intimacy in the smaller and more subtle moments. Eye contact and unspoken words exchanged across rooms and in inside jokes that only you two understand are intimate. There is affection in “Good morning” and “How was your day?” texts. There is a fondness in remembering the small details about another person and having that reciprocated.
What seemingly small actions have made you feel the most loved? Let us know by mentioning us @VALLEYmag on X!
