Ask the Staff: Spring Break Escapades

Spring Break is over and classes are in full swing again, but that doesn’t mean we’re not secretly wishing we were back on the beach workin’ the tan. For our friends back home that didn’t have a break as early as State’s, we’re all living vicariously through you. But for Penn Staters, it’s nose to the grindstone as we finish out another semester. To help ease your pain (whether from FOMO or a serious sunburn), we asked our wonderful staffers to submit their craziest, worst, best and everything-in-between #SB2k15 escapades for your benefit. Enjoy, y’all!

The “After School Special”

“Let’s take a second and appreciate what I went through in a week’s time: I fell flat on my face, I destroyed my liver (and possibly other internal organs), I ate more food than I ever have in my entire life, I slept like a baby and I got a speeding ticket. And I didn’t even go anywhere, this literally happened in my backyard. It was like an episode of Lizzie McGuire: College Edition.”

When in Doubt, Dog it Out

“I went parasailing in Clearwater Beach, Florida, and when they initially started to lift us in the air, I was only clipped in on one side. So, I was hanging lopsided for a bit until they brought us back down and re-clipped me in on both sides. I didn’t even realize it at first, but I was pretty freaked out once I noticed. After that, it was really fun! Oh, and I hung out with my dog.”

It’s understood that hanging out with her dog is probably not the moral of the story, but who can resist a little, puppy lovin’, ya feel?

Down and Out

“While y’all were celebrating SB2K15 with sun-kissed tans and fruity drinks, I was living a series of unfortunate events at home in Pittsburgh. On my way back to school, I made a pitstop in Oakland. I was away from the car for a grand total of twenty minutes, but by the time I got back, a low-life thug had broken into my car. Turns out, all the thief wanted was my money and a super chic pair of cat eye sunglasses. So, I returned to State College mildly traumatized, out $100 and a really cute pair of sunglasses, but with a few more life lessons tucked under my belt.”

No Más Tequila, Gracias
“For some reason after a few shots of tequila, me and my friend thought it would be a good idea to take a cab ride 40 minutes away from our Mexican resort and go bunging jumping. I cried and almost threw up on myself. Did it for the insta.”
Killing Two Birds with One Stone
For spring break this year, I made my way back home to see some of my high school friends and to spend some quality time with my family!  I also enjoyed a day full of rest and relaxation at a spa where I got a manicure, pedicure and facial – what a treat! This break gave me some time to apply for summer internships and to catch up on my favorite televisions shows.”
You’re an Adult Now, Kid
“I didn’t do anything over break except be a grown up and go to a bunch of appointments, including my least favorite – the dentist. At the end of my cleaning, the dentist told me I did a great job flossing. I don’t want to brag, but that’s the second time in a row.”
What We All Wish Really Happened
“I wanted to send you a really cool spring break story, but I literally didn’t do anything.”

We’re right there with you, girl.


What about you, Valley readers? Leave a comment below with your craziest #SB2k15 story!


Editor’s note: Valley Magazine neither endorses nor encourages irresponsible or underage consumption of alcoholic beverages.