Don’t get me wrong, ‘90s nickelodeon shows were the absolute best, but after remembering some of these series and other so-called “educational” shows we watched as kids, it’s a wonder our generation isn’t suffering from severe emotional trauma.
Here’s a concept I really don’t understand – a lamb puppet? It sang and wore clothes. A lamb puppet… Really, Helen? The substance of the show itself was quality – I suppose learning to read and singing nursery rhymes was suitable for the intended audience of 5-year-olds. However, our parents were the only ones who understood the pun of the title. Teaching us subtlety at such an early age – thank you, Lamb Chop.
Half a dog attached to half a cat – there’s a brilliant idea! This show was either thought up by someone high on who-knows-what, or someone seriously confused about the necessary biological components to allow “proper” bodily functions. And CatDog always ate so much, too, leaving us with a question that will haunt us for ages: Where did it all go?
Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
Mr. R. changed his shoes when he got home; seeing how busy he was stealing inside footage from factories around the nation, it makes total sense! His sneakers must’ve been totally destroyed with all that running around. And how about those cardigans? Mr. R. owned more cardigans than a high school girl in the 1950’s. Jealous? I know I was. Lastly, how the heck did he get a magical trolley installed in his house? Someone really twisted could have turned the Neighborhood of Make Believe into a wicked clown-puppet slasher film. Glad no one’s thought to do that yet.
This show hosted some of the most unusual-looking characters. Not only did it teach us that absent parents are completely normal, it also taught us that building creepy love shrines out of last-night’s leftovers, chewed gum and candles is 100% a-OK. I’m pretty sure Helga’s consistent rudeness to Arnold as a form of flirting taught all us ‘90s ladies that it was cool to be mean to boys – sorry, guys! Blame Helga.
Pinky and the Brain
Cynical and twisted, these two lab mice were genetically altered, which led to the belief that they could take over the world. Although Pinky’s idiocracy and kind spirit showed some positives, he was constantly beaten and battered by Brain, probably resulting in his verbal tics and scatter-brained actions. Just in general, I’m pretty sure the “taking over the world” message with the use of traps and explosives was not OK for kids.
‘90s television made for one heck of an after-school program. Love it or hate it, these wacky shows help to define our generation. Not sure how I feel about… how about you?