Frat boys that can hold conversations. The new unlimited late class drop. The ability to order Wings Over on their website until 3:30 a.m. These are examples of wonderful things that we shouldn’t want because they’re bad for us.
You know what else is an equally horrible and wonderful thing? Sheetz. Especially when Wawa is in your blood and encompasses every ounce of your soul. It isn’t just a convenience store. It’s a lifestyle. So what are us Wawa kids supposed to do when a Sheetz opens up on Pugh Street? Feel guilty, cry a little, enjoy and then feel rage. Valley presents an emotional breakdown of what it’s like being a Wawa soul in a new Sheetz world.
Your head’s in the game but your heart’s in the song. You’re starving and broke. But… Sheetz is only a 5 minute walk from after class. And… they have fries. Oh God. You’ve been craving fries for at least 6.8 days straight. BUT it’s not Wawa! You recall that you fought with that girl on your freshman year floor forever about the million reasons why Wawa is ten times better than Sheetz! (It is!) But Wawa is so far away from here. UGH. You drown in your shame quietly as you walk there, vowing to never tell your family or your friends from home of your act of betrayal. It’s not your fault. You’re weak. And just want fries. Fries make people do crazy things.
The Overwhelming Awe
Sure, you waited several tens of minutes longer than you would at a Wawa, but Sheetz food is unfortunately amazing. How can you feel guilty when the overwhelming joy of the food is so great!? If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you can even eat inside and enjoy your shame-food in public. Shame-food in public is fun. Wow, you can even do this at 3 a.m. after leaving your weekend festivities! Incredible. This sandwich and fries will even taste better at that hour. Wait— is there SERIOUSLY a walk-in beer cave? Oh no.
The Post-Sheetz Anger
Man, that was a life changing experience, but now the anger is settling in. This place made you someone that you’re not. You’re officially a Sheetz person too!? When did this happen!? Sheetz is EVIL. It’s an evil place with amazing sandwiches and really cheap coffee and home to a giant beer closet that you can physically enter and feel like you’re trapped. Ugh, no. The beer fridge is pretty dope. BUT THEY’RE EVIL. They’re not Wawa and they don’t taste like home. But they taste like severe happiness. Cheap happiness. You know you’ll end up there again tomorrow. Hopefully Wawa doesn’t smell the Sheetz shame on you when you go home.