Dear Penn Stater,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Okay… so Penn State might not exactly be a school for magic, but it often times feels that way. State College has something new for us every day and we might as well be as concealed as Hogwarts considering we live in the middle of Pennsylvania surrounded by farms.
But what if Penn State were Hogwarts after all?
First of all, students would have to be sorted into the four different houses by none other than the sorting hat based on your personality.
Congratulations, you are a Hufflepuff!
You love animals, family and being with groups of people. Being outside in the sun and hanging out on Old Main Lawn is one of your favorite activities. You like the comfort of home and tend to avoid conflict. Loyalty, tolerance, and modesty are just a few of your most favorable traits. You are patient, loyal and a hard-worker.
Congratulations, you are a Ravenclaw!
You crave knowledge and are constantly looking up new information for your personal enjoyment. You enjoy your classes and spend a lot of time in Paterno Library. You have wit and creativity. Your independence sets you apart from many people. The future excites you and you tend to be open-minded when it comes to new ideas.
Congratulations, you are a Griffindor!
You are caring and yearn for adventure, even if that includes to climbing Mt. Nittany or trying the dining hall food. You are bold, brave, and never back down in situations, especially when they involve defending a friend! You are not afraid to venture into the unknown.
Congratulations, you are a Slytherin!
Traditions and the people who came before you are of great importance to you. You are not the first generation in your family to attend Penn State. You are cunning and will do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. You do not back down from confrontation and enjoy having power.
Here are a few more Penn State /Hogwarts connections Valley couldn’t resist…
Beaver Stadium and the Quidditch Pitch
We love our sports at Penn State just as much as they do at Hogwarts.
The “Harry Potter Room” on second floor of Pattee and Hogwarts’ library
Resemblance is uncanny. If you haven’t been there, we highly recommend you check it out!
Shandygaff and The Three Broomsticks
They both have Butterbeer… minus the butter.
Stacks and the Chamber of Secrets
Both are haunted and you should stay far away.
Frat Land and the Forbidden Forrest
It may never be the best idea, but it’s always an adventure!
There’s also a few Hogwarts dopplerängers at Penn State…
The Willard Preacher and Peeves the Poltergeist
Both enjoy pestering students as they are trying to walk to class.
Joe Paterno and Dumbledore
LEGENDS and our schools wouldn’t be the same without them.
Penn State football team and Dumbledore’s Army
Both are loyal and hardworking.
Squirrels and Dementors
They both steal your soul… or your food.
CATA buses and the Hogwarts Express
The Hogwarts Express may or may not be a little more lavish.
Creamery Ice Cream and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
Mike the Mailman and Hedwig
Both are lovable and deliver your mail.
Moaning Myrtle (we all know one of these)
Your freshman RA and prefects
They may get on your nerves, but they always have your best interest in mind.
You and Neville Longbottom
You (hopefully) got more attractive as the years went by.
So maybe Penn State has what is takes to be Hogwarts. Who knows — there could be more magic here than we thought.
In memory of Alan Rickman, for encompassing everything readers wanted to see in Snape, and teaching us what love is.