Destiny’s Child said it best. Our names hold the weight of our identity and personality. In passing or in deep conversation, hearing a friend or lover say your name in a sentence feels riveting. Our names call our attention or heighten our focus in a conversation as we feel recognized.
Scream n’ Shout
Let’s go back to the beginning. Our names derive from our parents, setting the foundation of identity. As we grow, names turn into nicknames or fade into the background of our personalities. Although we embody our names, our surroundings and newfound interests take more definition into our lives.
From the terrible twos to rebellious teenage years, it felt more often than not for parents to scream our names in disapproval. Pushing the limits or rolling our eyes, hearing our names shouted by authoritative figures ignited fear and obedience. While their parental screams can send goosebumps across our bodies, there are others who speak our names that create positive sensations for us.

Caught My Attention
During conversations or in passing, a friend or crush acknowledging us with our names instantly grasps our attention. The background blurs behind them, and our focus stands before us. We are more than ever engaged, anticipating their next sentence.
Especially in relationships, it creates a deeper level of intimacy through name calling. It displays a direct way of caring for your partner. We tend to forget the weight behind our names, as we have cultivated new experiences or past traditions that encompass who we are. With our partners, small acts of saying surnames in sentences recognize every aspect of us compressed within those four to eight letters.

Use to Your Advantage
As we feel positively impacted when we hear our names, paying it forward has the same effects. Feeling invisible in a room full of people creates a sense of loneliness. When conversing with someone you just met, using their name has its advantages. The other person now feels seen, and perceives you better than before. Also, it helps to remember their name for future meetings.
Saying someone’s surname happens within seconds without too much thought, but its repercussions are deeper than we realize. It only takes someone else’s name to create a connection that can last lifetimes or give you new opportunities for the future.
How do you feel when someone says your name? Excited, nervous or confused? Tag us @VALLEYmag on X with your thoughts!

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