Oh no! Men are feeling lonely? Cry me a river. It seems the time has finally come when men find themselves single longer than anticipated because their same old ways simply don’t … do it for us single girls anymore. As a graduating senior, I’ve noticed there is something in the air where guys are frothing at the mouth for a girlfriend. People are coupling up or ending relationships, but there are men in between who complain about being single but aren’t taking the right steps (self-reflection).
Reddit and eavesdropping on conversations are my credible sources for this take. In a society predominately catered to men, it is quite interesting for men to deflect their failures of seeking a romantic partner on external factors (e.g. society, other women, literally anything else but themselves).
If we look at this situation from a psychological perspective, I would infer how boys are taught at a young age how to handle (or not handle) their emotions impacts their ability to connect later in life. If you are reading this right now, I know you have dealt with an emotionally unavailable man once in your life.
On top of mishandling emotions, men are historically perceived to be providers in their relationships, holding all the resources and qualities they think women need. News flash — this is not the olden days where we can live comfortably in a single-income household. This provider mindset brings the stench of arrogance. Men place themselves on an invisible pedestal for their partners to gawk at their presence.
What makes Reddit so resourceful is that people can share their personal experiences. In this thread, individuals have posted about horrifying dates they’ve gone on with men. Stories range from last-minute cancellations, expecting sex on the first date and failed online dating prompts to spark connection.
With all of these bad experiences occurring to people in real life, it makes me question how men who are on the flip side don’t see why a future partner would want a second date.
On the college level, we’ve seen a guy friend struggle when it comes to connecting with a future partner. The Penn State bubble does make dating harder in general and I sympathize with you all. From personal experience, I’ve had friends really like a girl and everything she has to bring into a future relationship. They’ll go on dates, have endless sleepovers, talk 24/7 and essentially act like a couple. It’s like clockwork where once the girl expresses interest in a relationship and has THE “What are we?” conversation, the guy suddenly regresses.
The utter word “commitment” seems like a man’s biggest fear, yet it contributes to their loneliness. Now I know some survivors of this phase (including myself) and have therapized a few men to see the light out of the dark tunnel they’ve put themselves in. When you know you have the capability to love someone, exploring that feeling, rather than running from it, leaves you with a lot less regret.
Until next time my single girls.
Xoxo,
Your boyfriend’s worst nightmare
