No two people are the same. Each person comes with their own set of skills, needs and personalities. Every opinion, every experience, every story is what makes someone unique. It’s a beautiful thing, really, that we get to create ourselves. What becomes even more beautiful is when we are influenced by others. We learn and grow as a result of each interaction with one another. Whether it’s positive or negative, there is always a change.
In romantic relationships, our partners can become an extension of ourselves. We see ourselves in them and vice versa. However, when we begin to morph our lives with another, it’s important to keep our own self intact. Forget everything you learned in second-grade math right now, because in this scenario, 1 + 1 = 11.
If you’re confused … don’t worry, we always show our math.
The Breakdown
In the relationship world, the laws of mathematics are slightly altered. When someone asks what 1 + 1 equals, naturally, our trusty Penn State education leads us to answer 2 without hesitation. And of course, you’d be right … if we were talking real mathematics here. But what a college degree might not teach you is that in relationships, and in life, the math may look a bit different.
Think of yourself as the first 1 in the equation, and your partner as the second 1. When you combine both yourself and your partner, you’re bringing together two separate people into one relationship. You shouldn’t change every single thing about you, nor should they, in order to fit together. Don’t make yourself a 2 when you both should remain a 1. A strong, loving relationship should make two numbers whole: thus, 1 + 1 equals 11.
A Natural Change
Of course, you’re naturally going to change throughout your relationship, and slowly morph together. However, the morphing should not change you completely. The foundation of who you are at your core: your interests, your passions, your beliefs, should remain. They should still be a big part of you and your daily life. Strong partnership builds up who you are, not breaks you down into someone you no longer recognize.
Whether you are in a relationship now or on the search for one, ask yourself: How can I remain myself while adding another? Evaluate what you bring into a relationship and how that can build your partner up. Think about the qualities of yourself you would not jeopardize for a relationship. These might be tough to identify at first — but when they are clear to you, you’ll begin aligning yourself with those who have no interest in changing them.
And that’s when you and your partner make two individuals a whole. When you no longer answer 2 to a basic math question, but confidently state that 1 + 1 = 11.
Tag us on Instagram, @VALLEYmag, with your thoughts on this equation!
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My site covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!
This had a calm confidence to it that landed well. It is similar to a strong hair routine where styling is intentional, shampoo is dependable, conditioner is supportive, beauty feels personal, salon help is occasional, and growth is gradual but real.
I appreciate the useful tone here. It feels similar to the best hair and styling advice, where beard care and personal care are not treated as superficiality but as maintenance, and where a salon, a clean shave, and thoughtful shaving are simply part of feeling put together.