Do men really love bitches? or is it all in their head? New York Times best-selling author, Sherry Argov identifies the truth behind the “chase” in relationships, and even gives a step-by-step guide on how to transform from “doormat to dream girl.”
This book separates women into two categories: A nice girl and a bitch. Argov has a different idea than the average person when she references what the qualities are for each of these categories.
The definition of a bitch versus a nice girl
To be a bitch, Argov says,
“The bitch I’m talking about is not the “bitch on wheels” or the mean spirited character that Joan Collins played on Dynasty. Nor is it the classic “office bitch” who is hated by everyone at work. The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has a 100 percent hold on her. And she’ll stand up for herself when he steps over the line.”
Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches, Page 11
A bitch is identified as someone we all inspire to be, someone who is strong and knows exactly what she wants in the world. Growing up, it was under the interpretation that being a nice girl was the way to go… Argov had a different idea in mind.
“A woman who is “too nice” gives and gives until she is depleted…She is the woman who will overcompensate, giving everything to a man she barely knows, without him having to invest much in the relationship. She’s the woman who gives blindly because she wants so much for her attention to be reciprocated. She’s the woman who goes along with what she thinks her man will like or want because she wants to keep the relationship at all costs.”
Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches, Page 16
Being the nice girl
In the real world, every teenager has strived to be one thing, nice. Doing this ensures people will like you and respect you in your years as you mature into being an adult. As Argov identifies it, “every woman, at some point, has been there.”
A nice girl isn’t a bad thing. People like you and you travel through the world carefree. But what happens when people begin to acknowledge how nice you really are and start to take advantage of you?
Argov places “attraction principles” throughout the novel, as a guide to the readers into what you should or should not be doing when becoming the “dream girl.”
“The women who have the men climbing the walls for them aren’t always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don’t appear to care that much.”
Attraction Principle #2
All about the chase
Argov argues that men are naturally drawn to women who possess a sense of self-worth and are not willing to compromise their own happiness for the sake of a relationship. She is not teaching women to be manipulative or inconsiderate, instead she acknowledges a perspective on self-respect, confidence, and empowerment.
“What would happen if you let him know from day one that you are willing to bend over backward? He’d think you’re desperate, and he’d want to see just how far you’d be willing to bend. It is human nature.”
Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches, Page 17
Ultimately, becoming the “dream girl” is not about making them want you, it is about making them believe you will not always be there at the snap of a finger. It acknowledges that while you are there for them, other times you are not, and the man will never feel that he has 100 percent hold on you.
The outcome
Why Men Love Bitches is a novel all about how women can maintain enough respect for themselves, so that they never have to question why they may not be good enough.
Argov acknowledges the power it takes to be a woman, and how no man can take that away. She says,
“The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows that she’s not afraid to be without him.”
Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches, Page 26
Being a woman in today’s dating world can be hard. Argov reminds us that women are the prize, and to never let yourself forget that.
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