Perfectionism Isn’t SO Pure

From when we were little kids, we could not identify how perfectionism is a brain effect. Perfectionists are always looking for ways to improve, extremely eager to become the best and new version of themselves or even need to tweak the smallest details in a millisecond. However, this is how perfectionism is not as pure as we had panned it out to be. 

In reality, perfectionists seem to struggle with depression the most. A huge misconception is how depression can be associated with not caring about your mental & physical health. However, it can be the polar opposite of what you may be thinking.

These individuals can be some of the biggest overthinkers, while being anxiety ridden every day about something roaming through their mind effortlessly and they can begin to notice something is off while they are growing up. Perfectionists can easily lose perspective of appreciating the little things once and for all. 

Placing Perfectionism into Perception

Winning as a gold medal finalist in the Olympics, achieving a good grade on a difficult exam or completing a task that was not easy from the start; Nothing feels like an accomplishment to you as a perfectionist. Your standards are sky high and you don’t see extraordinary things as anything but normal. Not taking in these little wins through your daily life can make you lose motivation subconsciously to celebrate the journey it took you to get there.

As someone with perfectionist tendencies would think, to be the best is the only possible outcome and failure is not an option for you. Overachieving can make you become restless and performing the minimum is what you believe is expected and choose not to celebrate. The maximum potential of everything that is possible is always below you, and that can eat you alive without even realizing it. 

Links to Psychology

From world-class athletes to valedictorians, there is a deeper level of perfectionism that we may not see from above the surface. We can first develop becoming a perfectionist to cope with not fitting in or having a place in the world, but this can be driven by the fear of failure, low self esteem, or adverse childhood experiences. 

Behaviors developed by these types of individuals are heavy procrastinators, seeing any possible way to avoid a challenge and constantly comparing themselves to others. But the links are clear as to the varieties of perfectionism that come to exist in today’s society. It can be socially prescribed, other-oriented or self-orientated in order to fulfill a desire to present oneself as perfect. 

Types of Perfectionism

No matter what, perfectionists have a goal to the 1000% degree. But of course, there are limitations in this physical reality; Unfortunately, perfectionists tend to overlook those limits, are impatient with time and what to achieve what they desire as fast as possible.

Socially prescribed perfectionism–believing that others will value you only if you are perfect–has been associated with depression and other problems, including suicide. 

Other-oriented perfectionism is the tendency to demand perfection from friends, family, co-workers and others. It can be particularly damaging for intimate relationships, says Hewitt.

For self-oriented perfectionism, an internally motivated desire to be perfect, do fine in situations of low stress, they argue but are more likely to become depressed, anxious or vulnerable when things go wrong.

How to Overcome it 

Let time take its course. It takes time to bake a cake, takes time to change the oil on your car and it most definitely takes time to find your future husband. But time is of the essence, whether as a perfectionist you can or cannot wrap your head around this classic quote you heard growing up. 

Learn to handle criticism. We can fall into bad pits of discouragement if someone is told that they are doing something wrong, which is especially heartbreaking for perfectionists. Constructive criticism can help you learn and grow, rather than believing it is meant to tear down what you desire to achieve. 

Live in the moment & acknowledge the small wins. It may not seem like much to you at the moment, but after compiling wins over time in a day, a week or even a month this can allow you to be more present in the present. Being so caught up in your high standards can make you conform to the discrepancy, yet acknowledging small wins and celebrating your success will allow this all-or-nothing mentality to be gone once and for all. 

Let us know @VALLEYmag on all platforms if this article helped you in anyway, shape or form to learn how to go with the flow!

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