Relying on your friends or romantic partners to be responsible for your happiness is not having emotional support; it’s something called codependency.
Codependency is when one person’s needs are tied to others, like their friends or their romantic partners. They rely on people to feel validated with themselves and want to feel like they belong.
Codependency behaviors can be a result of childhood experiences. Feeling neglected or having any trauma that lingers with you. There is no one specific cause; it’s just the experiences that you have that stick with you.
In Romantic Relationships
Bringing codependency into your relationships can cause so much trouble without you even knowing.
You find yourself sacrificing your own needs just to fulfill the other person’s needs. Just because you want to make others happy doesn’t mean that you will be happy as a result. You’ll just start to obsess over your partner’s needs and forget all about yourself.
You can’t expect others to go out of their way to help you be happy; it’s not their job to. If that is your expectation, you will feel unfulfilled and your self-esteem and self-worth will go beyond lower than you can imagine; you are hurting yourself at that point.
Being codependent in your relationships can make you feel empty and lost.
In Friendships
Even in friendships, codependency can cause trouble and cause cracks. If you are depending on your friend for everything and expect them to be responsible for you, imagine how they feel.
Your friend may feel overwhelmed with you always expecting them to take care of you. They might become distant or even try to avoid you because they know what you expect of them when it’s not their responsibility.
Focus on You
Learning to have boundaries is one of the most important things if you are codependent on others. You have to take the time to learn about yourself and see the limits and boundaries of being codependent. You have to be self-aware and take responsibility for yourself.
Being content and independent with yourself is the most important thing you can do to help your mental health and your well-being. It takes time to be comfortable with yourself; it doesn’t just happen in one day. Your life is your life. You don’t have to depend on others to make yourself happy.
Do you know anyone who is codependent? If so, how was being in a friendship or relationship with them? Let us know @VALLEYmag on X!
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