The Importance of the Backbone

Confrontation is one of the most difficult yet necessary foundations between individuals. It’s easy when it involves someone you care about. Standing up for them when they’re being brought down feels natural.

However, when it comes to defending yourself, that’s where it starts to become a challenge. It can make you feel selfish or mean, or you may become overwhelmed with anxiety and shy away. Developing the ability to stand up for yourself is one of the best things you can do for your being, simply because you might not always have people there to do it for you.

Setting Boundaries

In any relationship, there are clear boundaries of what you will and will not put up with. Without this foundation, it’s easy for the other person to walk all over you. While stating your boundaries is important, sticking to them is arguably more important. Staying true to your boundaries when they’re tested can be daunting, but it’s also how you build respect from others.

When people see that you won’t tolerate certain behaviors, they lose the ability to control you. By staying true to your boundaries, you’re not only protecting yourself but also teaching others how to treat you. This sense of self-respect strengthens your relationships, making them healthier and stronger overall.

Self-Respect

Standing up for yourself demonstrates that you recognize your own self-worth. It shows those who try to talk down to you that you’re not going to tolerate being disrespected. While it can be difficult at first, the more you prove yourself and refuse to accept being treated that way, the easier it becomes.

Each time you stand up for yourself, not only does it reinforce your boundaries, but it also boosts your confidence. Over time, handling these smaller confrontations will build resilience, making you better prepared to handle bigger conflicts in the future with confidence.

Growing Communication Skills

In any relationship, whether platonic or romantic, constant communication is key. The other person is bound to do things that bother you at some point. If these issues are minor and can be resolved, they should be brought up immediately, no matter how intimidating that may seem. These feelings need to be brought up so there is no built-up resentment toward that person.

No one can read your mind, and in order to maintain a healthy, lasting relationship, it’s important to voice your opinions and feelings instead of bottling them up. Once communication stops and you hold everything inside, those unresolved feelings will eventually erupt, and the relationship may fall apart.

What are your thoughts on having a backbone? Let us know on our Instagram @VALLEYmag!

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