A stolen glance, a look of longing, a moment alone.
These innocent and romantic moments are far from the realities of today’s hookup culture-dominated dating scene. In a seemingly short amount of time, “Can I take you out?” has turned into “Come over.” We’re not sure where this audacity comes from, but we are not fans of it.
Love used to look like flirtatious phone calls, surprise flowers and actual knocks on the door (not just texting “I’m here.”) Maybe the lack of effort comes from the convenience of cell phones or the extra enlarged egos of our Generation Z bachelors.
Since the dating scene does not seem to be improving — especially at Penn State — VALLEY is here to say this loud and clear:
Bring. Back. Men. Who. Yearn.
Romance Is Dying
Once upon a time, a man would call a woman, or even ask her in person, if he could take her on a date. He would pick her up at 7 p.m, take her for dinner or to the movies and then return her home at a reasonable hour. The night would end with an invitation for another date sometime, and there might even be a kiss to seal the deal.
We’re not saying all dates need to be this conventional and vanilla, but there was a respect that has since seemed to go right out the window.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. A man sees a woman he knows at a local bar and starts chatting her up. After saying goodbye and parting ways, he promptly starts Snapchatting her, inviting her to his apartment.
Oh, you’re drunk? It’s okay, come over. It’s 3 a.m? That’s not a problem, pu. Yes, “pu” is used in place of “pull up,” because apparently men are too lazy to even type out full words when attempting to plan a booty call.
We’re begging for mercy over here. Whatever happened to “Hi, how are you? Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?” VALLEY is still searching for where men get the audacity to treat the baddies of State College this way.
Yearners = Earners
We love a slow burn, and if there are any men reading this, we’re here to tell you that yearning will get you much farther than a brazen message inviting someone over. A common saying is that the fun is in the chase, so taking your time when pursuing someone is likely to be much more rewarding. Play your cards right, and a successful relationship might even come out of it.
Let’s take a popular show as an example: Bridgerton. In the newest season of this wonderfully swoonworthy show, Benedict Bridgerton finds the woman of his dreams at a masquerade ball. Since she makes a Cinderella-like escape, he never discovers her identity. The woman, Sophie Baek, ends up becoming a lady’s maid for his family, and while he doesn’t know she’s the mystery woman he met, he begins to fall for her.
The first half of the season is filled with longing stares, romantic dances and adorable banter between Benedict and Sophie. From the kiss they shared at the ball to the steamy scene we’re given at the end of Part 1, the buildup of their connection is beautifully portrayed.
Now we’re not saying we need to be courted by a suitor or chaperoned on promenades, but these are the vibes we need in our dating lives. If the innocence of a new love is lost, our hope in romance may soon vanish forever. No pressure though, of course.
There’s Still Hope
To our singles who are losing faith in men (we hear you) don’t give up yet. If men start getting the hint that their minimal efforts are in vain, they may begin to learn that desperate booty calls are not attractive. If there’s a man who doesn’t ever learn, then ladies, we’re here to tell you that he is not the man for you.
A man who takes his time pursuing a romantic interest is much more charming than a man who tries to rush into things just to get what he wants. It’s genuine, endearing and proves that he actually cares about getting to know that person.
Although our dating lives may not look exactly like Bridgerton, with a touch of romance, a dash of flirtation and a side of yearning, they sure can feel close.
Do you think we should bring back yearning? Let us know on X, @VALLEYmag!
