I met my younger self for coffee the other day.
She ordered a chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream. I got an iced latte.
She wore a bright pink shirt with different-sized hearts, definitely picked out by mom and I wore a baggy black sweatshirt, probably found on the floor of my messy room.
She had beautiful virgin caramel brown hair but mine is frizzled and naughty with blonde highlights and tossed up into an effortless messy bun.
Her greenish-gray eyes glimmer with innocence and aspiration while mine are filled with sorrow and regret.
She smiles so widely with her spaced-out, crooked teeth while I hide my perfectly straight ones behind a closed-lip smile.
She wants to be a famous actress and walk the red carpet. I still want to be a famous actress, but I settle for something more attainable.
She is me and I am her, yet we are not the same. She takes life days at a time, always excited for what’s next, while I can only focus hour by hour because the stress of life overtook my once strong-willed personality.
10 years can change a lot. I have experienced change and loss and I have gained knowledge and wisdom. I am mature, evolved and I’m planning for my future, but something’s different … my dreams are refined and my energy is toned down. My spark is dimmed and the once bright light I radiated is dull.
Why is it that when we grow up, we lose our imagination and creativity? The once-vibrant colors that swarmed my eyes are now black and white, and the dreams that filled my head have turned into a checklist of mundane chores.
I miss who I was before society and adulthood diminished my luminosity. I want to go back to being a dreamer and a believer. I want to remember what it’s like to be filled with sunshine and nothing but pure joy, and as cliché as it might be, I want to regain the urge to stop and pick the flowers and make a wish on dandelions.
Although I have a higher IQ and physically more knowledge than I did, that short meeting for coffee with my younger self taught me more than I could ever have learned from sitting in classrooms or taking exams. In a way, she revitalized me and retaught me the sacred lesson we learn as kids.
Why are we here? What were we put on this Earth to do? It’s all so simple. We are here to experience and enjoy, to sense and explore, to feel and to yearn. Life can be whatever you want it to be and losing sight of that is common. All you have to do is remember what you learned on that silly coffee date, recenter yourself and keep moving forward.
Tell us about your younger selves by tagging us on X @VALLEYmag!
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