Single Girls of State: Boyfriends Are a Hobby, Not a Lifestyle

You know when a couple is so obsessed with each other that it’s disgusting? It may be because us single girls are touch deprived, or their love is just so repulsive that you question its authenticity. 

Today we aren’t here to bash happy and healthy couples. If you are reading this and have an amazing boyfriend, I applaud you for finding someone that you truly deserve. Single girls, I am diving into how love and limerence can place rose-colored glasses on us if we don’t proceed with caution. 

Beware: Romantic Feelings Lie Ahead

The first crush you develop can hit you the deepest. When you’re in college, the possibilities of finding someone to crush on seem endless. Whether they are in your class, live down the hall or are someone you made eye contact with on the street, the instant attraction can feel intoxicating. 

A whiff of their being consumes your thoughts and feelings without even talking to them. Hell, they don’t even know your name! But that’s the best part: You are a mystery to them, as their life is a mystery to you. 

Simply put, you’re experiencing limerence. You daydream about your future life together and what you’ll name your kids. It’s a deep infatuation that fuels your intrusive thoughts.

In our heads, our crush is everything we want on paper. The harsh reality is we don’t know a single thing about this person. 

What’s their name? Where are they from? Are they someone you’d feel comfortable around?

Limerence To Unhealthy Love

Although most crushes crash and burn once you learn a single piece of information about them, there are times that you make it out of the limerence stage. Congratulations! You’re now most likely in a situationship!

Single girls, I’m kidding. You may just be “talking” for a few months before entering a new label. 

When it comes to starting anything romantically with someone, it is vital to feel confident in your individuality. Before you met them, you had a life of your own and that does not go away the second a guy comes around. This is what I mean about the rose-colored glasses — they’re so blinding that we can morph with the other person. 

It goes deeper than just the honeymoon phase — Our ability to give into someone else’s interests and hobbies is rooted in the stability of our identity. 

If we don’t have a crush or partner to fill up our time, then who are we? SO. MUCH. MORE. 

Especially now, our world does not have to revolve around someone else. And that is completely different than prioritizing your established relationship, since you can make an effort to balance multiple priorities in life. If your life revolves around someone else, then your wants and needs are dictated by another person. 

Single girls, I get it. It is hard not to get sucked into the whirlwind of romance. There’s such a thrill behind a relationship as you experience love and infatuation for another person. I don’t discourage you all from developing feelings for someone, but always remember to pour yourself with love too! 

xx 

Your girlfriend’s favorite writer

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