An act of physical release or an intimate moment to be shared between two people in love? Today we’re talking about the awkward, messy and borderline controversial: is saving your first time for someone special overrated, or a stupid rule constructed by the social norms of society? Like the infamous Salt-N-Pepa once said, “let’s talk about sex.”
To Wait or Not To Wait, That Is The Question
As I channel my inner Jean Milburn from “Sex Education,” I want to preface this article by saying everything in here is merely opinions. After talking to numerous people, friends and even family members, I have constructed blocks of text summarizing the average opinion.
Abstinence, Abstinence, Abstinence
Ah, abstinence, AKA the act of abstaining or, to put it plainly, NOT engaging in sexual actions. One might see abstinence as Mount Everest, an impossible task to complete. For others, abstinence is a way of life. Whether for religious reasons or just straight-up levels of comfort, not taking part in sex is a very common thing.
Abstinence is a completely normal feat to take part in, but unfortunately, with the growth of media, more and more people are roped into the idea that no sex equals being a prude. This is simply not the case.
Sex, at its roots, is an action performed to feel pleasure and emotional release, so why do it if it’s something you’re not ready for? There’s absolutely no shame in waiting! Honestly, the longer you wait, the longer you can avoid sexually transmitted infections, spending money on supplies (lube, condoms, etc.) and for the girls, no risk of the stork making a surprise visit to your house.
V-card MIA
Losing it at 16 with 25 bodies and counting, contrary to the abstaining baddies, some people peaked at an early age.
Similar to how people associate no sex with prudes, a lot of people link non-virgins with…. well, to put it plainly, “whores.” I honestly feel like I shouldn’t need to say this, but losing your virginity absolutely does not make you disgusting or revolting; it makes you human.
People often talk about “waiting for the right time” or making sure you are comfortable with the person before proceeding. This is something you 100% should do. Whether your person comes at 15 or 30, the “right time” is YOUR choice and should not be dictated by other people’s opinions or judgements. If you found the right person, then by all means be promiscuous and even a little unchaste; you deserve it.
What Really Matters
At the end of the day, virgin or not, we’re all people and we just need to lay off of each other.
Should you try to wait until you find the right person, so it is not an action you regret? Yes. But, if something goes wrong and that plan flies out the window, don’t beat yourself up forever; mistakes happen.
Whatever you choose to do, whenever you choose to do it and whomever you choose to do it with, it’s all up to you. I think about a specific quote a lot when it comes to this debate. The author is unknown, but I honestly think that strengthens it even more.
“Dont judge people for the choices they make when you don’t know the options they had to choose from.”
How do you feel about this sensitive topic? Let us know @VALLEYmag on Instagram!
