Apologies to all my single girls at state, I have been on a hiatus – aka a relationship. Some of you might be thinking, “I don’t even know you?” Allow me to introduce myself: I am your new TSGOS column writer. Dani has kindly passed this honor down to me as she enjoys her happy and healthy relationship, but I’m here to bring you all along my post-breakup journey and re-entering the single life one chaotic event at a time.
The last months have been filled with healing, some mania and all those fun little emotions we get after a relationship ending. A breakup essentially gets you off the bench, and maybe a shove from your friends to get out into the field. It can feel intimidating talking to someone new, or make you realize how boring men can be. My single girls, I see you, I hear you and I feel for you if you are talking to a boring man right now. Stay strong.
If you are anything like me (and hopefully validate this as a universal experience), I immediately hate the men I initially found interest in. It sounds a little harsh, but stay with me. I can enjoy the conversation with a guy at the bar, get my free drinks here and there, flirt a little and get what I ultimately want, but then it’s no fun after.
Call it my inner masculinity shining through, but I want nothing to do with you…even if you are lying right next to me. The drunk goggles came off, and I realized I actually did not have a genuine connection to you in the slightest, so…bye? Leave, please and thank you?
Obviously, I am not looking for a relationship any time soon (phew), but I will admit I love a deep connection, even if it’s gonna pain me. We single girls deserve to feel a deep love for someone and for it to be reciprocated. So, when you find a guy you like for the night, or for a few drinks, take control with how you want it to go for you. Give in to those temptations because you have the power to decide what moves forward. And if you hate ’em, then you don’t talk to them again. It’s easier than you think.
As a relationship retiree, I’ve noticed how much I feel bad hurting another person’s feelings or trying to please them in any way. It almost feels like an instinct to suppress how you feel to make someone else feel better. Truly. Exhausting. I do not recommend it. Especially if you are single, the person you owe it to is yourself. Give in to your desires, fill up your own cup and don’t give a single shit what other people are going to say about it.
Back to hating men, not all are bad, but it’s always best to proceed with caution. After a few interactions, I’ve had newly single… There are some guys out there who just want to be douchey to inflate their ego. On behalf of TSGOS and VALLEY, I am sorry for what you all have been going through during the sassy men epidemic.
So if you feel bad (like me) for hating a guy after a fun night, don’t! There are reasons why you didn’t click, and that’s okay, but don’t prolong your suffering by responding to the late texts or blurry snaps.
I am so excited to take over TSGOS and embrace single life together this year. Girls, and maybe guys that want to gain some insight too (you know who you are), you are in for a long, chaotic and hopefully entertaining ride while I navigate senior year. Just a heads up, I will ask for your forgiveness on some things later, but just know I will be reporting back to you with a good story to tell.
Cheers!
Your girlfriend’s favorite writer. <3
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