Some would say self-worth is knowing how to love yourself. Others would argue it’s surviving Thanksgiving Eve without interacting with your hometown ex at the bar. Easier said than done, sure. Thanksgiving week is full of excitement and nostalgia. Just don’t mistake comfort for a reason to revisit the past. If the past was meant to be in the present, we wouldn’t be calling it the past.
Lets Recap
Let’s take a few steps back, you’ve had an amazing semester so far, full of friends, laughs and prioritizing yourself. You’ve made some of the best memories, you love school and you know you’ve found exactly where you’re meant to be.
Simultaneously, you’re craving a break — the comfort of being home with some of your best friends, family and pets. Reaching Thanksgiving week has been all you’ve been able to think about. The hometown group chat is active, talking about how crazy the week is going to be. It’s the kind of week built on impulse decisions and the delusion that being home for seven days means digging up stories and situations you swore you’d never mention again, but you’re home.
Black Out Wednesday
Imagine this: the air is crisp, and you’re having your friends over for a pre–Blackout Wednesday pregame. You’re in a little black mini skirt with tights, a cute leather jacket and tall boots — you look hot and you know it. The pregame is perfect, and you walk into your hometown bar feeling like a stranger. This past semester, you’ve matured so much, some people might not even recognize you. The smell of the bar hits you instantly, that familiar mix of beer and must, but it’s somehow disgusting and comforting all at once.
A little too comforting. You glance across the bar, and your heart drops. It’s the hometown ex you were praying you wouldn’t have to see. Yet there they are, staring you down like they still know you so well, but at the same time, you’re strangers now.
Here is The True Test:
This is the moment you knew you were going to have to face. Yet this time, you are going to change the narrative. You’re a different person than you were. Here’s what you need to do:
Let them stare. Maybe throw a polite smile their way, but don’t look at them like you’re hoping it’ll turn into a conversation. The second you do, it unravels, and you’ll likely regret it. Focus on what you can control: have a blast with your friends, catch up with the people who actually matter and make the night about you, not the person across the room. By ignoring their presence, you’re reminding yourself that you’ve outgrown them, and that’s the best feeling in the world.
Chances are, if you walk over, your future self will be angry. The group chat will have receipts, and you’ll be spending Thanksgiving wishing you could delete last night.
Avoid the hagxiety, keep to yourself and hold yourself to the standard you do when you’re not home. The version of yourself you’ve worked so hard to become cannot be undone by the presence of one person. Don’t give them that power.
Let’s remember: Thanksgiving is about being grateful for the luxuries we have and the people we love. It’s not about rekindling high school love that never deserved you in the first place. Nothing says gratitude like realizing you’ve outgrown what once broke you, and knowing you’ll never entertain it again.
How do you overcome seeing that hometown ex? Tell us your stories @VALLEYmag on Instagram
