Dear Me, Happy Birthday, Love Yourself
It’s Dec. 1, 2025. The time is 11 p.m., an hour until twelve. I sit in my twin XL bed fiddling with the fringe of…
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Unbuckling Your Chastity Belt
An act of physical release or an intimate moment to be shared between two people in love? Today we’re talking about the awkward, messy and…
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The Female Gaze is Silver
Sydney Sweeney stunned in a sheer silver gown this past weekend at the 2025 Variety Power of Women gala. Her Wednesday red carpet appearance left…
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My Last Seven Minutes
Hello VALLEY! I guess I have been on a philosophical kick, because this week I am back with another article that is sure to leave…
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Fuck My Big Fat Chungus Life
My article for VALLEY this week is going in a bit of a different direction than I usually tend to take. I’m going to be…
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The Lion Does Not Concern Himself
Burnout season is upon us, and everybody is struggling to stay afloat. Here is VALLEY’s take on what the lion does NOT concern himself with….
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To Bee or Not to Bee, That is the Question
It happens in an instant. One minute you are living your life, the next, a honeybee digs its barbed stinger into your delicate skin, leaving…
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I Love You Like A Love Song Baby
The time comes — he tucks a loose piece of hair behind your ear, caresses your cheek, grabs your jaw and then finally goes in…
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HAGS!
As kids and young teens, you would peer down at your yearbook and see HAGS, written out in all uppercase letters. It means “Have a…
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Big Brother or Big Offender?
The reality TV show Big Brother was such a hit that producers created a spinoff show across the pond entitled Big Brother UK. Big Brother…
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The F-word
Yeah…that one word, I know you’re thinking of it right now. It’s a dirty word, disrespectful even. People tend to avoid using it because it…
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Nightmare Blunt Rotation: PSU Edition
We all have those people. The ones you would NEVER want to be stuck alone in a room with. Yeah, we know you’re thinking of…
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Where’s Wendy?
We would pour one out for this “native New Yorker,” except, she’s MIA. Wendy Williams is a radio and television talk show host and personality….
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Dear Cupid, What Happened?
Ding! You look down at your phone and see the bright yellow icon with a tiny white ghost appear on your screen. It’s a chat…
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Behind the Camera: 8 Passengers and The Ruby Franke Story
A seemingly happy youtube family of six children, led by mother Ruby Franke, is now being exposed for exploiting and abusing their children; Ruby now…
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I Met My Younger Self for Coffee
I met my younger self for coffee the other day. She ordered a chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream. I got an iced latte. She…
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Duolingo: Whodunnit
No! Our beloved multi-lingual friend Duo, the mascot of Duolingo, has passed away after being run over by a Tesla Cybertruck. We have some questions….
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To The Max(imalist)
Less is more. Well, not for these adventurous fashionistas. Let’s talk about maximalists. What is Maximalism? Maximalism, in fashion, can be defined as intricate and…
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Super Cute or Get The Boot: The Best and Worst Looks from the 2025 Grammys
It’s that time of year again, let’s talk about the 2025 Grammys. Many musical artists and producers showed out on the red carpet, while some…
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Feeling “Good As Hell”: Lizzo’s Journey To a Healthier Self
The queen of the pop industry, Lizzo, thought it was “About Damn Time.” This singer-songwriter put down the microphone and picked up some weights. Why…
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