As the youngest child, you are often expected to live up to your older siblings’ achievements. Everyone strives for recognition and appreciation, but it seems that whatever you succeed in has already been done. Despite your efforts, everything you do is comparable, and you somehow always seem to fall short. It is difficult to meet these expectations set by others before you, and while it can feel like you’re accomplishments are never enough, they truly are.
A Crippling Comparison
The association starts as soon as you can remember, whether it be a teacher asking if you are their sibling to discovering a hobby they have already perfected. It starts innocent enough but over time, the constant comparison grows tiresome. This can be detrimental to one’s self-image, especially being exposed to that kind of pressure a such an early age. It is important to remember that others do not define your identity. You are an individual, capable of achieving and succeeding on your own.
Your Own Path
Feeling overshadowed can destroy one’s confidence and stir up resentment. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and understand them. It is ok to feel this way, but you don’t have to accept these emotions as final.
You are more than someone’s comparison, we each have defining characteristics that set us apart from one another. What are yours? Set your goals and define what success looks like to you. Find those strengths and use them in whatever it is you want to accomplish. You don’t have to be the best, but knowing that you create your expectations allows you to grow as an individual.
Being Upfront
If these pressures come from those closest to you, it’s important to be open and honest with them. Most of the time these comparisons are not made with malintent so a simple reminder that comments aren’t appreciated can reduce the outside influence. Anyone can understand that being compared to one’s sibling can come off as limiting, but might not realize it initially.
Celebrating Their Success
Just as you are building your identity your siblings are as well. Their achievements do not diminish your own so by showing mutual respect you can celebrate their successes just as they will your own. You were not meant to be put against one another, so appreciate your family’s strength while adding to it yourself.
Being the youngest child it is difficult growing up stuck in your sibling’s shadow. Even when it seems like they have perfected everything remember you are deserving of recognition. Be proud of their accomplishments but you don’t have to compare yourself. Only see it as what is possible not a limitation.
It doesn’t matter whether it has already been tried or if it is an unseen expectation that your siblings have set; choose your goals and carve your own identity.
How do you set your goals? Tweet us @VALLEYmag on X with your tips!
