When Boys Guess The Items In Our Closets

margaretPerhaps the only thing more confusing to the male species than a woman’s mind is her closet.

A woman’s wardrobe is filled with essentials, from her little black dress to her favorite pair of boots. It’s probably a vastly terrifying and completely foreign jungle in the eyes of the average male college student. So, we hit the streets to find out just how much (or how little) guys actually knew about what is in a girl’s closet.

We asked four brave gentlemen to give us their honest answer about what they thought these six different articles were: A clutch, a maxi, a romper, pumps, a bandeau and a high-low. Their responses were truly priceless.

First up, we talked to junior Nick Novalis, a bio-renewable systems major.

What is a clutch?
“I don’t know. A clutch is a piece of clothing? Maybe it’s something to… I don’t know. I really don’t know. I have no idea.”

We were off to a strong start.

“I don’t know. Is it underwear?”

“Okay, I know what a romper is. I don’t know how to explain it; it’s like shorts and a shirt together. It goes good with a belt, right? That’s usually how girls wear it, like loose?”

Point one for Team Nick.

“Are they like something to put in your shoe? Something to walk comfortably, maybe, in heels? I don’t know.”

Pumps do anything but make walking more comfortable, but we’ll give a half point for knowing they go on your feet.

“It’s a belt. A type of belt, maybe?” *Sees us giggle* “No it’s not a belt, is it?”

No, but a valiant effort nonetheless. Sorry, we didn’t mean to laugh.

“Obviously I’m guessing this one too, but I think it’s a type of shirt.”

Nick scored a 1.5/6 correct but we appreciated his efforts because we know it was a tough quiz.

Just ask our next guy, sophomore Adam Hornung, DUS, who told us having a sister made him confident he could breeze through our questions. Let’s see if he did.

“I don’t know. A clutch? I’m sorry, maybe a hair tie. I’m going to go with that. Final answer.”

“Like a maxi…pad?”

We wish we could give points for how hard we laughed.

“I know that. It’s like a shirt kind of thing. You throw it over your head. It’s not a shirt, but kind of a shirt. You definitely wear it on the upper half of your body.”

Also the lower half, but we knew what you meant. Half point granted.

“They’re high heels.”

Ding, ding, ding!

“It’s French. It’s like a bracelet, obviously.”


“It’s when you do make-up. You do it high and then low.”

Like Nick, Adam came in at 1.5/6. Not bad at all.

Our final contestants were a paired set and relied on teamwork to complete our challenge. Seniors Kevin Cyliax, supply chain major and Tom Antoniak, mechanical engineering, were determined to earn the top score. Let’s see if they did.

KC: “It’s one of those purse or wallets that you hold and take on the red carpet, right, or something like that?”
TA: “I’ll just say the same thing he did.”

Good thinking Tom, because Kevin was correct!

KC: “Is that a skirt?”
TA: “A t-shirt, a type of t-shirt.”

Not the most specific response possible, but we will give half a point for Kevin’s answer.

TA: “OH I got this!” *Kevin cuts Tom off* KC: “I got this too!”
TA: “It’s one of those jumpsuits.”
KC: “You look like you’re Greek; it has that long thing around.”
TA: “It’s like a baggy wrestling outfit.”
KC: “Yeah. There’s so much room for activities.”

TA: “They’re a type of shoes with two little pumps on the front. They’re like Reeboks but pumps.”

Half a point for knowing it was a shoe.

TA: “It’s like a bandana, it’s stretchy. It’s like a headband.”
KC: “It goes on your head.”

Sure, a bra…a headband…is there even a difference?

TA: It’s like a mid-shirt, it’s high but not too high and low enough.”
KC: “It shows off the stomach, right?”
TA: “It’s stretchy material, you know, breathable.”
KC: “You totally made that up.”

Yes, Kevin, yes he did.

The tag-team duo came in at a very impressive three points. Congrats boys, you are the winners!

So, maybe not every guy is an expert about what ladies have in their closets. But if there is one thing we learned from all this, it’s that asking them can at least guarantee a laugh.

Photo by Danielle Gallo

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