Warning Signs of a Player

Photo by Jordan Pietrafitta

Every girl, and even some guys, will ultimately encounter the type of guy of which everyone has heard: the player — aka “The F*ckboy.” It’s inevitable and it’s unfortunate, but it’s true.

Valley wants to help you recognize the main warning signs of a player so you know how to handle the situation and can decide whether you want to remain in it.

1) Going the extra mile – for attention

Many players will do anything to get the attention of the girl who they’re currently interested, which often includes a somewhat elaborate or showy display. It will probably end up being an obnoxious action but will always undoubtedly somehow snatch your attention.

2) Blatantly mentioning sex/sex-related topics

If you’re just getting to know a guy and he randomly but blatantly mentions sexual things, unrelated to your previous conversation, he’s most likely a less than stand-up guy. His main goal for your “relationship” is to sleep with you.

3) Doesn’t respond – unless he wants something

If the guy you’re talking to barely speaks to you and is not able to hold a conversation with you unless he wants something from you, he’s not looking for anything serious. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, this guy won’t treat you the way you want to be treated.

4) Only talking about himself

Guys who only talk about themselves, without asking anything about you, only care about themselves. If they don’t care to ask about you and your life, they probably don’t care a whole lot about talking to you or pursuing anything further with you.

5) Namedropping the names of other girls

Some players will namedrop the names of other girls to seem impressive and more established and experienced. If a guy does this, he is most likely not devoting all of his attention to you and would rather maintain his reputation of being involved with many different girls.

6) Wanting to play 20 Questions

This may seem extremely unbelievable and pointless to include, but this does actually happen! If a guy is texting/dm-ing/chatting with you and wants to play 20 Questions, he will, nine times out of ten, ask a sexually charged question to figure out your level of experience. Although talking about experience isn’t necessarily a bad thing, a game of 20 Questions, especially over social media, is a juvenile way to approach the topic.

7) Doesn’t want a relationship

If a guy tells you that he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship or doesn’t want to date but still makes it seem as though you’re a couple, he’s probably a player. He likes you, but not enough to commit to you; in other words, he’s trying to keep his options open.

8) Hiding your relationship from others

The final red flag of a player, which might become clear later on in a relationship, is that he hides the relationship and tries to keep it a secret. This is another example of him wanting to play the field and keep his options open. You may have a relationship, but he doesn’t find it important enough to tell the people closest to him, or really anyone, about it.

Now, these cautionary words aren’t meant to deter you from being in a relationship or finding a man, but hopefully, the warning signs listed can help you to be careful and be on the lookout for guys who will definitely play with your head and heart.