The Single Girls of State: The Plot

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I am a firm believer in rock bottom. In the past month, things have repeatedly not gone as planned. From rejection and canceled travel plans to the stressors of finals and working, it’s been tumultuous to say the very least. I am someone who struggles with silver linings and with listening to people telling me to find them. But with that (I think) comes the relief of knowing it cannot get any worse. 

While on a therapeutic coffee date with my friend this week, we discussed reaching the point where all of the bad luck, reckless decisions and overall disappointments are just “for the plot.”  How maybe everything does happen for a reason and in the end these roadblocks might be making us better people. I’ve got to say that I think this is one of our better breakthroughs. There comes a point in every young woman’s life where you have to stop thinking about how shitty things are and start thinking about how much fun it will be to laugh about it later.

You see, I’m someone who has spent the vast majority of my life being scared of everything. The idea of dating in general has been terrifying to me for a very long time. When I started this column, however, it occurred to me that not trying was boring. Call me what you want, but boring is not something I will be complicit in. 

I think a lot of women, myself included, had the idea that we were going to bump into a cute guy on the sidewalk and will get to tell our grandchildren about how it was love at first sight at our fifty-year wedding anniversary.  If you still have this mindset, I am truly happy for you! Unfortunately, I had to condemn this notion many, many, years ago. 

I have instead decided that I will be telling my grandchildren about how I was a baddie.  My mantra is now this: say yes to everything, plans are for losers and enjoy what you’ve got, while you’ve got it. 

When I was asked on a date this week, every ounce of my being wanted to say no. I was tired. Tired of picking wrong, tired of games, and tired of playing Phoebe Bridgers. Then I realized that I literally had nothing to lose and had absolutely nothing to write about for this week’s article. So I went on the date, threw my overthinking to the wind and (surprisingly) had a really good time. 

My advice for everyone this week is simple: I implore you to stop thinking about everything so much and just say fuck it. Do it for the plot, the character development, whatever it will take to convince you that this is the only time in your life where fun is the rule and not the exception. There is SO much more to come.

Tell me about your college breakthroughs! Message @Valleymag on Instagram and tell me all about it!

Until next week!

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