To my (and anyone else’s) childhood best friend,
It’s been years since we’ve talked. Since the middle school drama and the “fights” that I don’t even remember who started. Maybe it was both of us. We waved our white flags of surrender years later by saying hello in grocery stores, at neighborhood Fourth of July parties and liking each other’s posts. There is no war –– was there really ever any? Whatever it was that made us drift apart into different social groups, extracurriculars and lunch tables.
Before we knew it, we were in different prom groups, even though we had planned our high school prom at age six. That was a different time though, when we imagined wearing princess dresses and six-inch heels to the dance. We finalized our plans in pink crayons during social studies class. But, I didn’t wear my princess dress and neither did you.
So here I am, well into college and getting ready for the next chapter, and I still can’t throw away the neon green half-heart necklace that we share. It’s all rusted now over the silver “be” and “frie.” I found it while cleaning out my room this summer, while I was packing up the rest of my stuff for college, and there it was. It stared at me, begging for some purpose –– even though I don’t have one for it anymore.
I remember buying those necklaces at Justice, in my sequin-cheetah-print shirt and dirty Converses. I used the couple of dollars I had and couldn’t wait to give the other half to you at school the next day. I remember smiling and feeling so excited that I had a best friend –– one who would wear matching necklaces with me. I wore that necklace all the time, until looking at it reminded me of “growing apart.”
We had met on the school bus on our way to kindergarten. Two nervous kids sitting next to each other on the bus, pigtails in both of our hair. I had been so scared to ride the bus, so scared to start school, but you were there to sit next to everyday. Nothing felt so scary anymore now that I had a friend, someone to eat lunch with, someone to jump rope with.
I thought about that memory a lot when we began to grow apart. I longed for childhood and resented the idea of growing up. But, change is inevitable, and there was no stopping it from coming. We went to high school, separately though. In new friend groups and different classes. There was nothing left that we had in common, and I finally learned that that was ok. I made other friends, best friends actually, and found my way to college. So did you. And even though that wasn’t the future we had planned, the one where we would marry our favorite movie characters and live right next door to each other, it was ok that it didn’t work out. I began to dream (more realistically) for myself, and what my life would be and what I wanted.
So, I still have that rusty friendship necklace. I hold it in my palm sometimes still, and think about all the memories of having a childhood best friend. I look at it and smile. I’m happy that I kept that necklace, and I hope you did too.
Nostalgia’s Greatest Passage
For those of you who may still have your old friendship necklaces, it can be a good reminder of what once was, even if that friendship has been long outgrown. It’s important to cherish those memories of childhood and be grateful, even if it’s now gone.
Do you have a story about your childhood best friend? Share it with us @VALLEYmag on Instagram or X!
