Soaring Self-Assurance: How to Raise your Friend’s Confidence

Photo from

“Confidence is key.”

You may hear so much from parents, teachers and specialists that being confident is vital to effective relationships and success in the academic world. Easy enough, right?

Sadly, no. Unfortunately, you can’t just magically snap our fingers or wake up one morning with the confidence of our favorite celebrities. It is a process. Through self-help books, positive affirmations and manifesting, it takes a long time before individuals to begin to turn the tides on themselves.

But, what do you do if you see your friend struggling?

You may begin to notice patterns in their behavior or their feelings of failure as you spend time with them. You want to help so bad, but you wonder where to begin? When you love someone, all you want is for them to be happy. Friendship should be about lifting each other up, not sitting idle while your friend tears themselves down. Though gaining self-confidence may seem daunting, perhaps together, friends can help each other find that confidence. Here are VALLEY’s tips and tricks for helping your friend get out of that rut.

Give a Compliment

What better way is there to empower your friend than a simple shower of compliments? Have you ever been stopped on the street by a stranger who loves your outfit or had someone ask where you got your hair done? Those random compliments by strangers make our days just a bit brighter, and it would mean so much more coming from someone who is a close friend.

Compliment your friend on a normal basis. Better yet, compliment their personality too. Maybe they’re killing it in school or made a really funny joke earlier. Your small comment about how they influence your life is powerful enough to make them feel more secure in their skin or personality. And, it’s so easy!

Turn On Your Listening Ears

Everyone seems to be struggling with something, yet many people don’t like to talk about their problems out of fear of being perceived as a downer or complainer. But, in order to work through these issues, people need to talk about what is upsetting them. In the grand scheme of things, it may seem small, but if it is prevalent in your friend’s life, it should matter to you too. Start a conversation and actually listen. This is not the time to try and fix their problems or criticize how they feel. This is where you just sit there and listen, offering your point of view if they want it. Your job as their friend is to have their back, and this is the perfect way to prove it.

Tell Them That You Believe In Them

When it’s appropriate, pull them aside and let them know how special they are to you. If you are reading this article, then it’s no secret that you care about them. Let them know!

Encourage Them To Do Great Things

Maybe your friend loves to draw but doesn’t think that they are good enough. Encourage them to join clubs that have to do with art or put their drawing into a contest. By promoting their passions, you are subtly letting them know that they are talented enough to pursue what they love.

Be Confident in Yourself

Confidence is like a yawn. When someone around you is acting like their best self, you want to do it too.

Let Them Know That They Are Not Alone

There is nothing wrong with feeling insecure every now and then — and it is going to happen, no matter how supportive of a friend you are — but the aim should be to make everyone around you feel happy and confident. And, of course, there are going to be times when you aren’t feeling your best self either. Don’t be subject to only trying to help your friends. When you feel down, confide in them too. This way, they won’t think they are alone in this battle of confidence, and you get uplifted as well. It’s a win-win.

Photo from

VALLEY is all about encouraging each other. So, if you see someone who may be struggling, use some of these tips to help them. However, be aware that you alone are not responsible for the happiness of others. You can help, but this journey is within themselves. Patience is key.

Uplift your friends on Twitter and tag us @VALLEYMag on Instagram, so we can see just how amazing each and every one of you are.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.