If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? For some college students— engagement rings. There are few decisions in life as momentous as committing to spending the rest of your life with someone. With each generation following baby boomers, the average age for getting married has increased. Interestingly, the rate of divorce has decreased. ‘Ring by Spring’ is a phenomenon commonly associated with young women in their senior year at Christian colleges. It refers to the desire or expectation to be engaged by the spring semester as a senior in college.
Marriage by the generations
Millennials have often been criticized for “killing” various industries, forgoing things like napkins and cereal. Subsequently, they’ve also decided to do marriage differently. As an article from Insider points out, Millennials are more accepting of interracial and interfaith relationships and strive for more egalitarian household roles. According to a 2016 Gallup poll, 20% of Americans ages 18 to 30 are married, compared to 32% of Gen X-ers and 40% of baby boomers when they were the same age.
Trends, like waiting longer to get married, are inspired by the generations before us. We tweak them to fit our own needs and desires. According to The Knot, most of Gen Z expect to get married around the age of 27. Since the average age of a student completing an undergraduate program is 21, ‘Ring by Spring’ dictates that those who find themselves engaged are doing so far earlier than the average college student.
Purity Culture and pressure to marry
Marriages that originate from ‘Ring by Spring’ are largely reflective of a very specific subset of the American populace, that is, heterosexual and Christian. Each college has its own specific traditions and culture that influence the standards that students have for relationships, not to mention the fact that students bring their own experiences and dating history from before entering college.
When the unspoken rule is that getting married sooner is better, students face pressure to beat their own friends to the aisle. By attending a Christian college or university that upholds this unspoken rule, the relationship culture is held over the students’ heads in a way.
For some, getting married before graduation is easier said than done. Students may have a harder time due to there being a higher number of female students than male students at some schools. For women, meeting the standard of getting married means securing a certain social status. For men, remaining a bachelor for a certain number of years is looked at with less judgment.
There’s also purity culture, the expectation that adults should limit or restrict physical intimacy with one another before being married. This practice is also commonly referred to as “saving yourself for marriage”. Therefore, the sooner you get married, the sooner you’d be allowed to engage in these activities without intense condemnation, from your church, family, and community members.
The issue that many take with ‘Ring by Spring’ is that the worth of a female student isn’t recognized until she gets married. By extension, having sex is something that can’t be enjoyed without shame.
What is the right age to get married?
While the expression ‘Ring by Spring’ is now a cheeky way to poke fun at those hoping to get a ring with their diploma, or even someone eager to get engaged at an age younger than their peers—the pressure that particular college students face to get married is high.
If your family members are anything like the Uber driver one of our writers had last month, they’d be disappointed to hear that many students have no plans to get engaged right after graduation (and may also inform you that you would be considered leftovers in some countries).
There’s no single right answer or right age to get engaged, but an engagement should be a happy occasion and a fully autonomous decision made by both people involved.
What are your thoughts on getting married young? Do you know anyone who has gotten a ‘Ring by Spring’? Tweet us and let us know @VALLEYmag
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