What is it about being sad that makes you want to listen to sad music, and in turn, feel even sadder? Do we take solace in sadness and sad music? Why is sad music almost comforting in a way?
The Sadness Paradox
The innate emotional pleasure or bittersweetness of sad music might correlate to something in our biology. Sadness is an evolved emotion that resulted as a way for humans to deal with feelings of loss. Often referred to as “depression realism”, sadness is lowly arousing, withdrawing, and lacking affection. Sad music has the ability to release the same “comfort: hormones from our brains that are often deployed with feelings of sadness. These hormones stimulate values of trust, comfort, support, and well-being.
Some brain scans have actually revealed that listening to sad music: “elicits more self-reflection and “meta-awareness” than listening to “happy” music. The issue is that the body’s response isn’t enough on its own to give us that intense feeling of pleasure — sadness is low-level arousal compared with grief or joy — both high-level emotions.” (Yates).
Connectedness
It is also hypothesized that listening to sad music when you are feeling sad boosts the feeling of connection to people who may have shared similar experiences or ultimately just feel misunderstood. It is easy to lose yourself in feelings of sadness and depression, so listening to sad music actually makes you feel less lonely and confused. It is validating our emotions when we are able to find music that connects exactly to what we are feeling.
As Explained by Psychology
Another explanation for our fondness for sad music is that it moves us. This phenomenon is called karma muta, a Sanskrit term that means, to be moved by love. This feeling can come with goosebumps, chills or a sensation that is akin to “a heartwarming feeling.”
Most people who feel moved are high in empathy. This relates back to that feeling of connectedness that we often crave when we are sad. Being moved also results from memories or nostalgia that we may relate to certain music or important moments in life. This nostalgia can move us away from feeling lonely and make us feel meaningful and like we still have a purpose.
Finding Comfort in Sadness
Have you ever wondered why there is comfort in sadness? Or if that is even true at all? At the root of our enjoying sad music when sad, there is the foundational belief that sadness is strangely a comforting feeling. It is familiar. For people who live with chronic depression, feeling sad and desolate often becomes a part of their identity. Life and the way they know to live it are rooted in being consistently tired, hopeless, and anxious. So after a while, depression becomes their normal comfort zone, thus making it difficult to come out of.
But the good news is that you cannot actually become addicted to that sad feeling, even if you are someone who struggles with something like depression.
It Will Pass
So next time you are feeling sad, distraught, depressed or blue — embrace it. The best thing you can do for yourself is to feel your emotions — even the not-so-enjoyable ones — that way you can move on from them. Listen to all the sad music: songs about heartbreak, losing friends, being alone, being lost. Whatever you are feeling, someone else has felt that way too. Music never truly lets you be alone.
Let us know your favorite sad songs to revel in on our Instagram or Twitter @VALLEYmag.
