Relationship Roulette: Getting Back with an Ex

Photo from

In the world of sports, there is a cap on how many times you can try to succeed before you have to call it quits and accept that things didn’t work out. In baseball it’s three strikes and you’re out, in football you get four downs to move forward before you have to give the ball up, but in the dating game we have yet to come up with the perfect rulebook. When it comes to getting back with an ex, when is it time to just give up?

Giving a relationship a second try seems to be everywhere around us: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big, and Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are just some of our favorite couples that are volatile to say the least. While we love a happily ever after, these three couples have shown us that giving it another go is usually filled with tears and potentially more heartbreak.

When approached by an ex or thinking about approaching an ex, it is vital to remember what split you up in the first place. Was there a lack of trust? Was there open communication? Did you feel safe? These are questions you have to ask yourself before any more damage can be done. If one of these questions was the cause of your demise, it’s probably best for you to keep moving on and forget your ex even exists.

A lot of the time when we are drawn back to an ex, we are drawn to the parts we like best about them, omitting the flaws that caused us pain in the first place. Bradshaw was continuously falling back in love with Mr. Big and viewers all over the nation wanted it to finally work out. Time after time, Bradshaw would put herself out on a limb to move forward to real intimacy and trust and she was consistently left out there alone.

In the world we live in, it’s probably more likely that someone will continue hooking up with their ex even though they have cut all emotional ties. Is this healthy? It can be, but it can also lead to one party redeveloping feelings and ultimately getting hurt. If emotions start to creep up again, the most important thing is to be honest with both your partner and yourself. Open communication between two people who are physically involved is essential for a healthy relationship in any capacity.

The cameras love to snap pictures of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber holding hands or attending events together over the years, but it’s what happens when the cameras are off that might suggest that the pair is less than perfect. Getting back together and splitting up again at lightning speed can take a toll on one’s mental health as demonstrated by Selena’s trips to rehabilitation centers. Being under the microscope of fame surely didn’t help, but when a relationship is taking a toll on your health, it’s time to get out.

Getting out of an emotionally tolling relationship is easier said than done, though, especially when you feel your partner depends on you. After years of attempting to help Scott Disick through his alcohol abuse, Kourtney Kardashian had to call it quits after over 10 years of being together. In the end, it’s important to understand what is best for you. There is only so much one person can do for another without getting dragged down. A person has to want to help themselves in order to actually be helped. When it feels like your partner is dragging you down it’s probably time to walk away and do you for a while.

Diving back into a relationship that feels comfortable and safe may seem like a good idea but before making any decisions it’s important to self-reflect. To be the best you, remember to trust your instincts because no one knows you and your relationship better.


Starting a New Relationship with an Expiration Date

How to Share Friends After a Breakup

College Crisis: Moving in With The Boyfriend