Recently, Collegehumor.com published, “8 New Punctuation Marks We Desperately Need.” These new marks range from the “I’m Not Angry” mark to the ever so necessary, “Morgan Freemark”― because obviously, if you’re going to read a message in a certain voice, it should indefinitely be his cool and pleasantly stern accent.
However, 8 new marks simply aren’t enough to cover all of the confusing and awkward texts and messages you’ve probably received lately. Here are a few of our own punctuation marks we desperately need.
1. The “Yes, I’m hitting on you” mark
Because smiley and winky faces are not clear enough! Wouldn’t it be nice to have a mark clearly stating, “Hey dummy, this guy/girl clearly wants to date you”?
2. The “Can we change the subject?” mark
For all the times an awkward topic comes up in conversation, this mark would be the perfect transition to a new topic, without rudely saying, “I don’t want to talk about it.” We’ve all been there, some topics are just not meant for discussion via text.
3. The “Read this in a British accent” mark
Simply because you won’t understand my Harry Potter references without it. Also, everything just sounds better in a British accent (sorry, Morgan Freeman).
4. The “I want to answer you, but I’ve had a bit too much to drink” mark
Just trying to avoid embarrassing drunk texts here. If there was a mark to convey this message, then we’d avoid so many awkward convos― without sacrificing our dignity in the process.
5. The “Bigger than caps lock” mark (For when you’re really excited)
Frankly, people who overuse caps lock make me feel like they’re shouting at me. That’s not very nice. Cool it down a bit.
6. The “Ain’t nobody got time for that” mark
…Sometimes you just ain’t got time for it.
7. The “I think someone is watching me type this” mark
You could be held against your own will and secretly need to send an S.O.S. It could happen, right?
8. The “I’m on my period” period
For anyone who is texting their friend/girlfriend the wrong thing at the wrong time, this mark could save them from the wrath you’re about to unleash.
Photo by Jonathan Hsieh