The feelings we all have typically differentiate from one another. It’s very rare that the emotions we endure in certain situations are similar; if you see an older person eating dinner alone, you might instinctively feel sad for them. But why? It seems like the empathy humans hold can assume the worst for other people.
There’s a reason why so many criticized Henry David Thoreau for wandering off to a cabin in the woods and cutting himself off from society. Of course, it may have been because he refused to pay his taxes, but mostly because humans need one another. Human connection is important, no doubt.
As we grow up and choose who we surround ourselves with, we learn and live through shared experiences. We start to see things from a new perspective; now that you have gone through a failed relationship yourself, you understand why your friend is acting the way they are through theirs. As we connect and grow, we start to gain new perspective.
Vulnerability is a Weakness?
Of course, this world can be cruel. Some perceive being vulnerable or “alone” as a weakness rather than a chosen path. But additionally, because we have been through similar negative experiences of being alone, we might project that negativity onto others as we see fit.
A study in the Netherlands found that “observing another person’s action, pain or affect can trigger parts of the same neural networks responsible for executing those actions and experiencing those feelings firsthand.” In other words, we can literally reflect our own emotions and thoughts in a given scenario onto someone else. That’s how connected humans can be (which is pretty cool, if you think about it).
The Burden of Caring
Given how strong our connection is, it can be hard to go about life without these empathy goggles on. Seeing an older man eat lunch alone might ruin your day. A TikTok about an author selling no more than three of their books can be too much to hear. Because you understand how brutal the world can be, it hurts to even think about someone else trekking through it alone.
This doesn’t make you “soft” or “weak.” You might have a strong tendency to put yourselves in people’s shoes, to the point you might desperately want to repair them. When you think about it, the empathy you have for others is really just how you yearn to save your former self.
How Great Humans Are
Despite how much we might care about people, the good always shines through in our empathetic ways. There’s a famous Instagram post that you may or may not be aware of: a man dancing alone at a club was made fun of by a group of people, proceeding to stop dancing and become obviously upset.
Almost immediately after, social media was in an outrage over how this man was bullied. Many people, including celebrities like Pharrell and Meghan Trainor, went to social media to find the dancing man and throw him a party. A group of women in Los Angeles organized a fundraiser to fly him out, raising over $40,000. The party became a success with many people attending and Moby offering to DJ.
The point is that our empathy might feel like a curse in our daily routine, but in reality, it is a gift. It is why humankind can be so amazing. It is how we are able to connect with one another and feel each other’s emotions. Empathy might be our greatest superweapon.
Tweet us on X with your thoughts at @VALLEYmag!
Related
Convert The Complaint
We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve
Manifestation: Can Your Thoughts Really Shape Reality?
