Ever trying to kill five minutes in the apartment or a full 50 minute lecture? Twitter provides a surplus of distractions to keep your mind from what it should actually be focusing on.
Well, it’s OK! We all need break from productivity (once in a while…) and parody
tweeters are on their A-game to help us out.
Here are some of most chuckle-worthy parody twitters to hit the procrastination platform:
The Dark Lord, fake tweeting as the infamous Voldemort, comments on social trends and current events by hating on every single one of them. He uses clever Harry Potter terminology to play with popular topics in real life. Attempting to end the overused “YOLO” expression saying, @Lord_Voldemort7 tweeted, “YOLO. Unless you have horcruxes.”
This account is also notorious for criticizing the Edward and Bella “Twilight”
relationship, tweeting things like “#BigMistake Killing Cedric Diggory. If I only knew he’d be resurrected as Edward Cullen,” or “Twilight promotion will be awkward now that everyone knows Bella Swan is a whorecrux. Sparkly Cedric should’ve stuck with Cho Chang.”
Looks like Tom Riddle has some jokes up his wand.
Jonathon Goldsmith acts as the Dos Equis man to promote the beer. However, his role in the commercials has taken on quite a Twitter persona. This parody tweets about accomplishing hilariously impossible feats. Upon his many achievements, the most notable are that, “He can read Lady GaGa’s poker face,” or “He once won the Daytona 500 driving a Prius,” and “He taught Charlie Sheen how to win.”
Best of all, “He can touch MC Hammer.”
The beautiful actor Ryan Gosling and right-winged politician Paul Ryan have
collaborated their views, tweeting as Paul Ryan Gosling. With Gosling’s sexy “Hey girl…” line and Ryan’s controversial anti-feminist views, tweeters are kept occupied with amusing yet somewhat offensive one-liners.
Playing off of Romney’s poorly worded, “Binders full of women” comment, @PaulRyanGossling tweets, “Hey girl, I just put you in my binder.” Likewise, making fun of his rather archaic views on women, @PaulRyanGossling pronounced, “Hey girl, I know I’m only 42 but my ideas on women’s rights are over 500 years old.”
Trying ever so hard to help the poor, Paul Ryan Gosling suggests “Hey girl, America’s poor don’t need a welfare program to keep them afloat. They just need a reality show like Honey Boo Boo.”
Which brings us to…
The questionably popular reality TV pageant girl, Honey Boo Boo, has made a name for herself with her southern-accented, high-pitched squealing America (for some twisted, twisted reason) deems entertainment.
Her parody twitter account, Honey Boo Boo Child, pokes fun at her ridiculous lifestyle by tweeting comments like, “IF I DON’T TALK WITH MY MOUTH FULL, WHEN AM I GONNA TALK?” or “MISS GEORGIA IS VERY PRETTY AND I DON’T THINK SHE FARTS.” The most memorable line from the TV show, “A DOLLA MAKE ME HOLLA HONEY BOO BOO” informs Americans about how to persuade untalented and annoying children to make you giggle.
There are many other twitter accounts to make you laugh and retweet. Parodies of everyone from Obama to Louie CK are a worthwhile time-killer. Next time you laugh at a funny tweet, remember what Leslie Chow of The Hangover tweeted, “When I laugh at jokes on the internet I don’t even laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.”