It seems that confidence is a constant topic of discussion — and reasonably so, because confidence is life changing. However, achieving confidence is easier said than done. The truth is, many of us — even those who seem effortlessly confident — work hard on a daily basis to remind ourselves of our worth.
It is likely that you have heard the term “fake it ‘til you make it” in reference to gaining confidence, and while it may seem like a cliché, there is certainly some truth to the phrase. It is commonly used to encourage people who lack confidence to put on a more people-pleasing persona, but VALLEY encourages you to look at it through a different lens.
Faking confidence is a useful tool when beginning your journey towards self-love, but it is important to remember that faking confidence doesn’t mean pretending to be somebody you aren’t. In fact, the first step in utilizing the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” is telling yourself that you are comfortable being exactly who you are.
Try looking in the mirror before the next time you leave your house. Rather than picking yourself apart, point out the things that you love about yourself. Fake that you are comfortable in your own skin by talking to yourself with respect.
Act With Courage
Translating this self-respect to a social setting is often the hardest part of learning to embrace confidence. When you first begin to flaunt your newly found confidence it will be uncomfortable; you will likely feel unnatural or “fake.” Continue to remind yourself that being proud of who you are is never fake and push through the discomfort.
Start by standing tall, making eye contact, and speaking positively about yourself and others. Try discussing your interests with self assurance — passion has a way of alleviating anxiety! With time and practice, you will no longer feel that you are faking anything.
Remember: Nobody Really Cares
When you feel awkward, it is natural to think the entire world is watching you. This is almost never the case. In reality, we all think that people care about how we look and act much more than they do. Assume that everybody is as concerned with their own appearance as you are and ask yourself, “Does anybody really have the time to think about how I acted in that small interaction?” The answer will most frequently be “No.” Remind yourself of this when you feel your confidence slipping away.
Confidence is an incredibly empowering and attractive trait. Anyone can have it, but it takes time and dedication. If you actively work towards accepting yourself for who you are, you will find that you can love and embrace yourself the way that you love and embrace others, and more importantly, the way that others love and embrace you.
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