One of the strangest things about coming to college is the change you start to see in the way you keep in touch with people. High school friends you used to see and talk to every day are now hours and miles away, meeting new people and experiencing new things. Sometimes it’s even hard to keep in contact with friends you’ve met in college—as classes end, people move around on and off campus, and different activities demand attention; relationships and circumstances change.
Though sometimes this difference in contact might be hard, it’s important to remember that it happens to everyone. And for those important people that you don’t want to lose, VALLEY has some tips to keep up the communication.
The Little Things
One of the best ways to re-open a line of communication or show someone distant that you’re still thinking about them is to remind them of the little things. Maybe you came across something that reminds you of them, or a memory you shared together. Maybe you were mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and came across a hilarious photo of you two together. Maybe you overheard a snippet of conversation that reminded you of an inside joke. There’s nothing like getting a text or a snapchat with the message “this made me think of you.” And often an entire conversation will result, whether it’s with a longtime childhood friend or your study buddy from class last semester.
Make it a Pattern
In college, it’s so easy to get caught up in everything that’s going on that you just forget to keep up with people who are important to you. One of the best ways to get around this forgetfulness is to make the communication a pattern. Call your hometown best friend every Thursday night, or make plans to eat lunch every Monday with your friend that moved off campus. Once the contact becomes a routine, it’s extremely hard to break.
Let Them Know
If you feel like the lack of contact isn’t necessarily coming from your end, don’t be afraid to let that person know. If you feel like you’re reaching out and this person isn’t reciprocating, now is the time to say something before you might lose a relationship that is important to you. Everyone is extremely busy with their own activities in college, so it most likely isn’t a conscious effort on your friend’s part to cut you off. But if you put it on his or her radar that you feel like the communication is becoming distant, then chances are this person will make the extra effort to get back in touch and stay in touch.
Accept the Change
As much as we would all like to think that we are masters of never losing relationships, it’s just impossible not to fall out of contact with some people. This can be a tough pill to swallow, especially if some of these lost contacts are people that meant a lot to you, but VALLEY thinks that all of the most important people in your life really will be there to stay.
You will always have relationships that might not involve everyday contact but are still so interwoven with memories and shared experiences that they are impossible to lose. But for those relationships with roots that may not run as deep, it’s okay to move on, even if it’s unintentionally. And in these cases, even if it becomes years since you last spoke, just remember that it’s always okay to get back in touch with a message saying “this made me think of you.”